Me and my husband have been together for a total of 9 years. About 1yr and half ago we moved away and soon after I got pregnant. Getting a job while pregnant and with COVID was not easy but I was able to pay my bills, groceries, and the light bill the whole time. Not once did I ask him for money. I even took out my 401K to pay for my bills and other things.
Well, we recently moved back to the hometown and in the beginning of the year he made around 18k in one month and he used about 4K to pay off his debt, which is good. This whole time I’m not working and I had just given birth via emergency C-section and I’m still paying for my own stuff and taking care of the baby basically without his help because he would not wake up at night to get the baby and I would get up on my own, with a big incision.
Fast forward, he just bought a business last month with the money that he had left over and his moms help. And now I have no money to pay for my bills this month and whenever I bring up the fact that I have to pay my car or buy something for the house he just says “damn” and I fell like I can’t ask him for money because every time he spends money he tells me how much money he has left or how much he has spent. And I just started a new job today that makes good commission and he told me that with the money that I make on commission I should not use it to pay for my debt. That we need to prioritize other things. Obviously I am not going to waste all of it on my debt but it I should be able to pay off a little bit. But when he was going to use one of his credit cards to buy something for the house he said that we need to pay it off with my commission money.
Basically he tells me I’m selfish and now that he has a business he told me that he can’t believe that I am going to benefit from his business when I don’t do anything for it. Which I do go and help him every once in a while but I am also the only one that takes care of the baby when I pick him up from daycare and cook, clean and he gets home and relaxes. I just want to know if I’m the one that is being selfish or is he being selfish?