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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Needy guy can't keep away

25 replies

DTHill85 · 08/08/2022 13:48

I was introduced to a guy who's really nice, even though they knew I'm not in a good Place but said we could just be friends. He' seemed understanding and is attractive.
I ended up not being into him that much so I ended it and he persuaded me to give him another chance but still my head was a mess from my past relationship so I ended it again asking if we could just be friends. But he couldn't accept it and turned at my house saying he doesn't believe I don't have feelings for him, that, maybe I'm just scared.
So a few days later I asked him to be my bf 🤦‍♀️ and then he told me he loves Me after 1 month! He's been saying he'll stop worrying I'm gonna change my mind soon which is mentioned everyday and is annoying. Hes also very needy and like a big kid. I told my friend about him and she said he sounds like a weirdo. I just don't want to hurt his feelings again. Urggghhh

I don't know what to do now.

OP posts:
ZekeZeke · 08/08/2022 13:54

Stop sending him mixed signals.
Break up with him, tell him you are not interested and block.

Prunel · 08/08/2022 13:55

Break up with him and Go to therapy.

Prunel · 08/08/2022 13:58

Sorry that was more harsh than i intended
but I don’t know why you are being persuaded
or sending mixed signals
or asking if you can be friends like you’re asking permission to break up, and letting him decide everything
just decide what you want and then that’s what happens

Annabananna1 · 08/08/2022 14:03

Doesn't sound like you want him. But it's easy / you just want something.

End it clearly. Don't respond any more.

It's not fair

ComtesseDeSpair · 08/08/2022 14:08

I don’t think he sounds like a “weirdo” to be honest: you’re repeatedly agreeing to be his girlfriend, actively asking him to be your boyfriend, telling him you’d like to be friends - it’s no wonder he’s completely confused and clingy.

You have to clearly tell him that you don’t want to be in a relationship, and you don’t want to be his friend, either. Apologise for your part in stringing him along, and mean it. Tell him you don’t want to remain in contact and are going to block his number; then do it, and delete it as well.

ItsHitTheFanNow · 08/08/2022 14:39

Why did you ask him to be your boyfriend if you weren't that into him??

TedMullins · 08/08/2022 14:46

I was totally on your side until you said you ASKED HIM TO BE YOUR BF???!!! What on earth? Why?!

He doesn’t respect you or your feelings. Turning up at your house declaring you must have feelings for him is deranged behaviour but you have dug your own grave here by saying you’ll go out with him!

Grow some balls and dump him. Screw his feelings, he doesn’t care about yours

Prunel · 08/08/2022 14:56

ComtesseDeSpair · 08/08/2022 14:08

I don’t think he sounds like a “weirdo” to be honest: you’re repeatedly agreeing to be his girlfriend, actively asking him to be your boyfriend, telling him you’d like to be friends - it’s no wonder he’s completely confused and clingy.

You have to clearly tell him that you don’t want to be in a relationship, and you don’t want to be his friend, either. Apologise for your part in stringing him along, and mean it. Tell him you don’t want to remain in contact and are going to block his number; then do it, and delete it as well.

She dumped him for a second time and he turned up at her house refusing to accept it.
admittedly she may be communicating poorly but come on.

Mamato3boysand2dogs · 08/08/2022 14:56

Ah christ. End it, be firm and stop fucking with people's feelings because you're not sure of your own

Poor guy. Grow up .

MaryBlighthouse · 08/08/2022 15:03

You don’t know what to do?
Well either you spend your life with a guy you don’t much like or want to be with or you end the relationship.

it’s up to you.

TeeBee · 08/08/2022 15:15

He sounds desperate and won't take no for an answer. Be blunt and stop feeling like you have to protect other people's feelings at the expense of your own. Just tell him you realise you went in too quickly and, like you already told him, you're not up for a relationship. Then just stop replying to him...he's had your answer.

Watchkeys · 08/08/2022 15:16

like a big kid

You need to grow up yourself. Tell him you don't want a relationship. Stick to it.

It really is that simple, and you need to be adult in dealing with the feelings that result.

Preeeettyprettygood · 08/08/2022 15:18

Stop sending mixed messages. Tell him you don't want anything and block him

Preeeettyprettygood · 08/08/2022 15:18

Watchkeys · 08/08/2022 15:16

like a big kid

You need to grow up yourself. Tell him you don't want a relationship. Stick to it.

It really is that simple, and you need to be adult in dealing with the feelings that result.

This all over !!

TokyoTen · 08/08/2022 15:52

From what you say you are giving him mixed signals. You need to "pull the plaster off" and quickly. Just tell him you don't want to see him anymore, don't engage, just block.

BMW6 · 08/08/2022 17:28
  1. You cannot be friends, he wants more
  2. You have mucked him about. Stop now and tell him that you are sorry to have done so, but you 100% do not want to continue with him.
  3. Get back into therapy.
  4. Have no contact with him at all. If he persists repeat step 2. If he still persists contact police.
nellytheelephant1980 · 08/08/2022 18:28

ComtesseDeSpair · 08/08/2022 14:08

I don’t think he sounds like a “weirdo” to be honest: you’re repeatedly agreeing to be his girlfriend, actively asking him to be your boyfriend, telling him you’d like to be friends - it’s no wonder he’s completely confused and clingy.

You have to clearly tell him that you don’t want to be in a relationship, and you don’t want to be his friend, either. Apologise for your part in stringing him along, and mean it. Tell him you don’t want to remain in contact and are going to block his number; then do it, and delete it as well.

This

pictish · 08/08/2022 18:36

You asked him to be your boyfriend, why? Did you just get swept along in the current?

Be honest with this guy and send him on his way. He has declared love within a month. It’s too much. Just tell him you don’t have the same feelings, apologise for being inconsistent and make it clear it’s at an end.

Learn from this and don’t be persuaded into a relationship you don’t want to be in again. You’re allowed to say no.

daisycup22 · 08/08/2022 19:06

You are giving him mixed signals and being completely unfair. I have been on the end he is on and it's so hurtful and confusing

AtrociousCircumstance · 08/08/2022 19:09

You’re as bad as each other.

Just be crystal clear with him and end it - none of this ‘friends’ bullshit.

Come on now.

Pom87 · 08/08/2022 19:11

How old are you?

Jenhen89 · 08/08/2022 19:11

You sound like a teenager.

Minimalme · 08/08/2022 20:17

Which bit of being coerced into a relationship with this man is "really nice"?

Melonapplepear · 21/11/2022 13:42

It's clearly going nowhere is it, just end it and stop playing games. You both sound pretty childish tbh.

Melonapplepear · 21/11/2022 13:43

Oh ffs it's an old thread! Apologies I must start checking dates

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