How do i get back on his page?

[Lancaste12]

Partner and I are struggling . Since our third came along he says I've forgotten about us, we are worlds apart and not on the same page. Im having counselling and she has said the same. How do i get myself back on his page so we are together?
We've had (or so i thought) a really good few weeks. Back to old times if not better really. He took massive offence when i told him i thought we were in a better place. Says its insulting as i haven't done anything to change our situation so why on earth would it be any better?
I am so confused and feel really lost and insecure in our relationship.
Any advice? Any advice from a man would be great!
Thank you

Have you tried marriage counselling

Why is he laying the responsibility to ‘fix’ the relationship solely at your feet?

What is he doing to get things back to how they were/how he would like them to be??

do you both agree on what the page should look like? Because it doesn’t sound like it, it sounds like he’s asking you to jump and you are asking how high! Hope I’m wrong

What sort of things make you "world's apart"? Because this is important. If it's that since you had children you've become a total germaphobe, affecting every aspect of your lives or have 100% changed your views on key political issues of the day or something along those lines, then his comment may well be justified.

If, as is more likely, what he means is that you are having less sex, conversations are largely about the DC and/or how tired you are, food planning and prep has gone to pot and the house is a bit of a mess.... then I'd be very interested in hearing how HE plans to contribute to solving this problem.

Agree with PPs - why are you trying to get back to his page? Surely you need to work together to establish what you BOTH want and what makes you BOTH happy. It's not all about him.

You sound really sad, @Lancaste12, and your description of how he reacted when you spoke about how you thought things were better made him sound very selfish and unreasonable.

Since our third came along he says I've forgotten about us
This jumped out at me and it has with other posters. What is he doing to look after you and making you feel special.
I bloody hate it when I hear blokes come out with this codswallop!

Why does he get to decide what page you should be on? Is he making any effort to be on your page?

Sounds odd to say the counsellor agrees…
Are you sure you are not presenting his words as your own actual thoughts and feelings? Have you clarified to the counsellor these are his complaints about you, rather than something from your own mind?

We've had (or so i thought) a really good few weeks. Back to old times if not better really. He took massive offence when i told him i thought we were in a better place. Says its insulting as i haven't done anything to change our situation so why on earth would it be any better?

I take this to mean that you have had a good few weeks, feel better about yourself and your relationship and heading int he right direction.
For him to shut that down and actually be horrible to you about it, instead of surely encouraging the fact that you are feeling happier and more connected with him, speaks volumes.
Are you sure its you actually not on his page, as by that reaction from him it seems a little like he doesn't want you on it.

I can't understand any partner not being encouraging if their Partner says they are feeling happier and better in the relationship. And telling them they haven't done anything to help it. Its odd.

Unless he talking about sex. If he thinks purely in terms of how much sex you have, and he defines the relationship on that, thats his answer.

No wonder you feel lost and insecure. What has HE been doing to help things get better?

It sounds like you feel like you were on the same page - so perhaps it's not you who ever got 'off' that page.