So resentful of husband

[Mumsknackered]

Hi
my husband and I are going through a particularly bad time at the moment , my youngest child who is 14 months j just doesn’t sleep at night so I’m exhausted, I have 5 children all together .

i realise that I’m probably very grumpy at the moment due to being exhausted however my husband says he’s treating me like I treat him , he doesn’t help in the night whatsoever or day tbh

ive sent him this message this morning as he’s told me he’s had enough of me last night

Yes I know I can be grumpy , letting me have an extra 1 1/2 hours one day at the weekend doesn’t really help .it’s more than tiredness now I’m exhausted - it’s been 14 months !!!!!!!

You say you are treating me like I treat u but your not doing things to help me get better , all I feel is resentment and sadness which is why I’m either angry or ignore you .

You have no clue what it is like to have not slept for 14 months so cannot possibly understand how I feel .

I’m frustrated as I’ve been left with 2 broken stair gates for the third week running which is a risk to E the house is no where near finished even tho it’s 4 years for the house and 1 year for the conservatory .

I asked for help with fitting the window restricters 4 weeks ago , I cannot physically do them despite me climbing out on the the conservatory roof . I don’t mention it again as you will say I’m nagging but then I resent you for it as you don’t do it anyway.

Can’t win either way and it’s going to be hot again this week too !!

I’m doing my best with working / looking after 5 kids in the holidays and well as trying to complete the jobs that need doing .

Then the weekend comes around and it’s exactly the same .

hope that makes sense sorry it’s so long

I’m sorry you’re going through it must be tough having small children.

i think you have to find a quiet time (can anyone babysit?) and talk to him and tell him how you feel and that you need more support.

I think some (most?) men are not very good at knowing what to do so I would tell him. If he’s not very good with doing the baby stuff can he do dinner every day all the hoovering all the washing for example. Tell him the jobs need fixing asap because its causing an issue.

And explain how utterly exhausting it is having disturbed sleep…

Gosh I can’t believe you work and manage 5 children!!

can you afford a home help?

You husband sounds useless but you need to be firmer

insist that you take turns getting up with the 14 month old

if he refuses then please consider telling him your life will be easier if he isn’t there as at least he will take the kids for the weekend whilst you get a break

all these jobs - can you hire someone to do them? What are the finances like?

Has he answered the message. It sounds so tough 💐

He hasn’t answered but not surprised , unfortunately my mum works and my mil is disabled so we don’t get any help from them , I could probably afford to pay someone to come and do the jobs but non of them are major things it’s more finishing jobs etc except from the stair gates , I’ve tried doing them and I’m normally quite ok at fit but I can do them