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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Grandparents favouritism

4 replies

Nickymf41 · 07/08/2022 19:45

Am I wrong for being hurt? My parents made a massive fuss of my sis in law when pregnant and even more over my nephew. They took him once a week overnight to give her a beak went to collect drop off visit on occasion. He is a lovely but spoiled example of this bought by my parents 2 motorbikes a quad 2 electric scooters and a hoover board just a few mind all hardly touch or never used and a trip to lap land. They have always kept my brother and partner in the lifestyle they like to live subsidising with hand outs constantly. My bother had twice what my wedding cost in that year off of them never to be returned. I accept I am not the golden child but my little boy 6 now is being treated differently. I had a very difficult birth emergency section he was in neo natal for 2 wks my dad never came to see him my mum did once said they couldn't bond with him in the hospital I know 😔 . I am used to being an after thought but I don't want my son to feel it. They never take him on days out like my nephew only macdonalds and funfair once I make the effort to try to include them inviting them to days out. Recently I got a call asking if we wanted to go on a beak to Disneyland Paris sounds good I said let's do it my family paying our own my parents paying for themselves I have now been told that they are taking my nephew paying for him to go on another trip abroad. Am I wrong for being hurt I don't expect anything from them but not even a flicker of acknowledgement of the favoritism just nothing they have always had a bank for my nephew he got any change around went in it it added up he would have 60 to 100 a year never any for my son. A bank account with money going in am I wrong please 🥺

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 07/08/2022 20:02

No. You also need to stay away from your parents. Such people never apologise nor accept any responsibility for their actions.

people from dysfunctional families end up playing roles and your role here is scapegoat. As a result your child is also scapegoated . If there is another set of grandparents present concentrate your efforts on them instead.

Nickymf41 · 07/08/2022 20:48

Thank you 💙 he only has another gran but only sees her maybe every couple of month or special occasions not been involved. I try so hard to be a better person than I seen growing up. I try to make sure my boy knows he's loved, special and I am proud of him I have no other family just my grandad I have stayed around more for him. But I have been caught between no family or dysfunctional. I know we deserve better.

OP posts:
HeadAboveTheParapet · 07/08/2022 21:37

The only way for you not to be hurt by this is to not get involved.
Accept that they are shallow and play favourites and be as low contact S you can.
Don't chase them for attention.

Your child will begin to notice the difference in treatment if it's constantly in his face. You don't want him to resent them or his cousin so step back.

We have a great relationship with some of my in laws and a polite one with others because of the blatant favouritism.
We stopped pushing for visits etc and leave it up to the in laws to contact the teens if they want to see them.

Londonderry34 · 07/08/2022 21:40

Stay away. Family friends are everything.

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