Would it bother you?

[Leadon]

Just a quick one to work out if I'm being unreasonable or not.......would it upset you if your husband/wife was online telling a stranger how that great they look? I'm feeling like it doesn't sit well with me but don't want to bring it up with him if I'm over reacting 😂

Well it would depend on context.
Also...the word choice

Eg: 'hello Anna, we haven't seen you I years, you're looking so healthy, thats a beautiful tan'
OK

But 'ooft Anna, I would'
Probably Not ok.

And of course if he has form for complimenting other women in front of you and never saying anything nice to you then that's an abuser text tactic that's a straight up dumpable offence.

*abuser tactic
Dunno where text came from

Basically you have to ask yourself, does he have form for making you feel shitty? Or cheating? Or is it maybe just that you aren't feeling great about yourself atm and would like him to give you more flirty attention?

Well it wouldn't leave me laughing with tears.

Don't be dismissive of your own feelings. You have them for a reason- your H/W's behavior makes you uncomfortable. I don't think we can control what we initially feel, but we do have the power to choose how to react.

I know that isn't much help, but respect your thoughts. You wouldn't ridicule someone else, so don't do that to yourself.

And yes, it would bother me.

Did you mean to use the crying with laughter emoji? If so, I think you are minimising because even if this was innocent, it still isn’t very funny.

As to whether I would mind, well it would depend on context, but I can’t think of many scenarios in which it would be ok, but there could be some.

A stranger online? That sounds a bit sad. What is the person hoping to achieve?

Straight up no unless she's elderley and he is being kind.

I'm assuming it's commenting on someone Insta or something? I wouldn't like it tbh, I'd wonder why they're following random hot women

I probably was trying to minimise my feeling to be honest, usually made out to be "jealous" and unreasonable but do feel a little down on myself just now so wondered if that was causing me to overreact

He hasn't ever cheated physically but did massively cross the line message wise with someone about a year and a half ago so guess that would make me a bit more sensitive

Thanks to everyone for taking the time to reply

HE makes you out to be jealous?

He sounds like a nasty dickhead then.
Honey if he is complementing other women infront of you and calling you jealous then he is a wanker and you are in likely an abusive relationship.

You have every right to your own feelings.
And a decent human being and partner would want you to feel secure and loved in your relationship and appoligise for making you feel anything but that.

The word choice you are using smacks of you being an abusive relationship too. It does not make you 'sensitve' to be uncomfortable with someone treating you with disrespect.

As do 'overreact' (abuserd want you to feel like you do) and 'trying to minimise my feeling'.

You Have every right to feel hurt if someone treats you shittily. And every reason to tell them it isn't on and to walk away from them if they make you out to be the one with the issues.

You don't need us to tell you what it's OK to have a problem with. They are your feelings and you are entitled to them. And, to tell people who trample them, to fuck off.

Your feelings are perfectly valid.

It would be okay to compliment "you look lovely" on a friend's photo, but a bit odd to be doing that on a random stranger's photo. I assume this is Instagram? Care to share what the comment was that he left?

If he has form for crossing the line with messaging then this was hugely concern me. A small comment can turn into private messaging pretty fast.

The fact he has also tried to make you out to be jealous as well tells me that he is a huge red flag.