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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Advice needed
5

MeMe123123 · 06/08/2022 14:47

Any advice how to get out of this relationship?
Very long story short. Been together 22 years, it’s all Iv ever known. Two kids 9 & 5. It’s toxic. I’m crying all day everyday and we argue constantly and it’s affecting the kids. I know we will be happier without him but I don’t know how to get away from him.
We rent, I have no family and no money to move out. Iv asked him to leave he won’t! What can I do?
He doesn’t help financially.
he has no interest in spending time with kids / as a family.
Does not do any housework and is very messy. If he drops some food it stays there. Dirty clothes all over the house.
Out drinking Three nights a week in a state when he comes home.
Morning after he lays around in a mood.
I suspect he’s on drugs and have found evidence.

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Aprilx · 06/08/2022 14:59

I don’t understand the money situation, can you elaborate as it obviously is key to your next steps. If he moved out you would have to pay the rent on your own, in fact you say he doesn’t help financially, so you are paying it on your own now? If so, then could you move out and pay rent on somewhere else? Are you working? Whose name is the tenancy in?

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MeMe123123 · 06/08/2022 15:01

I am paying for everything on my own now. I could afford to pay rent if I was by myself but I can’t afford bond / removal cost / fees etc.

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PutinIsAWarCriminal · 06/08/2022 15:05

If you have evidence of drugs could you use it to get the police involved?

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MeMe123123 · 06/08/2022 15:12

i don’t think the evidence I have would be enough. I have tested his wee which gave a positive result and found a packet the other day. He said it was off a suit (he only wears suits for funerals!) plus I don’t want to put the kids through anything like that. Had to get the police once 3 years ago when he was violent and the kids still talk about it.

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category12 · 06/08/2022 17:38

Are you both on the tenancy?

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