ASD child, lack of sleep and unsupportive DH

[SNkidMarriageCrisis]

Feeling very low. DS4 has asd and global development delay and adhd. Awful sleeper, often awake for several hours in the night. I gave up a professional career to look after him. All night waking are on me as I don't work.

My own DB had similar needs, but whereas my parents pulled together and worked as a team, DH complains endlessly about being disturbed in the night, despite not being the one ever who gets up to care for DS.

DH wants to put DS into care. There isn't suitable care for DS as far as I'm aware, though residential school could be an option in the future I guess.

Its a hard life, as anyone caring for a child with severe disabilities will know. I just feel so unsupported. Think it's the end of the road for our marriage tbh. Not sure what I'm asking for really. I'm just so low.

Didn’t want to leave this with no replies. That sounds so tough, I don’t have direct experience but from friends in similar situations that is not fair on you at all. One friend gets respite care for her non-sleeper, he’s also on melatonin which helps. She is on anti-depressants as well which she says are hugely helpful. I hope you manage to access some support at the very least

My stbx didn't pull his weight when we were together. He now has them every week on his own and has to deal with it all, meaning I get more of a break than I ever did before. Splitting might mean you are happier and freer than before.

can you see if your LA can offer respite? Personal budget? Even a carer during the day and you can use that time to sleep?
I’m sorry but your DH suggesting putting your DS in care doesn’t sit right with me especially as you seem to be doing most of the day to day work?