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Relationships

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He’s blowing hot and cold

7 replies

DaisyDooxox · 05/08/2022 19:51

I’m 26 and he’s 28. We’ve been together for 5 months.

In the beginning he was giving me lots of attention, lots of text messages and a great physical relationship. Telling me he was punching etc.

He is lovely now, but he’s more jokey about things. He texts a lot less and will make comments such as ‘I’m doing the community a favour by being with you’ (I know this is completely a joke as he will touch my leg and laugh as he says it). He called today and I missed the call. I then called back and we started talking for two minutes and then he hold me he had to go and he would call me later. He didn’t call.

Sexually, he has dropped off sending me flirty messages over the phone. When we are with eachother he likes to tease me. For example, I saw him over the weekend and yesterday and we didn’t have sex, but 10 minutes until he was about to leave for work in the morning he starts kissing me passionately and kissing down my chest. I playfully asked him to get back in bed and he told me he couldn’t as he was running late. This was at 7am and we had been up since half 5.

He then got to work and jokingly asked me to send him a naughty picture.

I just don’t know how to read him. He keeps making the comment ‘treat them mean and keep them keen’. I’ve just told him that this will push me further away. (It really isn’t!)

It was a big step for me to be in this relationship with him as l had not long left my previous 8 year relationship after being cheated on.

Any advice? Do I play him back at his own game?

At this point in my life I would like to be thinking about settling down after a couple of years. I’m not sure I’m into the game playing.

OP posts:
PetalParty · 05/08/2022 21:54

I think you answered yourself in your last line, and you’re spot on.

Sounds like negging. Pathetic guy.

Username0308 · 05/08/2022 22:16

Walk away. You've come out of a long-term relationship where you've been badly hurt. You do NOT need a guy who will most likely hurt you and play games with you.

He's clearly playing games because he's immature and thinks that this is how a relationship should be. It's not. Him calling you, and then you calling back after missing his call, followed by him cutting it short is most likely him trying to maintain the control and power. The sexual teasing like that would be a huge turn-off for me as well, it's just another power play from him.

Do your future-self a favour and call it quits. It's only been 5 months. We don't want you posting here in 5 years time about how the signs were all there but you ignored them.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 05/08/2022 23:40

I have a sense of deja vu here. You posted about this before?

Subjectivist · 05/08/2022 23:43

3rd thread ive read about this now

Poppyblush · 06/08/2022 06:58

Just split up.

KangarooKenny · 06/08/2022 07:02

Do not send any pictures. Dump and block.

Akayak · 06/08/2022 07:30

Run. The minute you have to start “figuring out” a man should be the minute you realize “he’s just not that into you”. It does not matter why he isn’t, but it sounds like you should save your youth for someone worthy of your time. You can check out the book “he’s just not that into you”. It’s helped me clarify things and cut down on days of obsessive thinking About guys who weren’t that into me.

Youth is wasted on the young. Move it on down the road sister. Find a guy who makes you feel comfortable and beautiful just as you are.

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