I’ve been married for 15 years, we’ve been together for 22 years, I love my husband dearly and he is a good dad to our children 13 year old and 8 year old. He works away a lot! We have had various discussions over the years regarding him working away, I have struggled with my mental health these past 5/6 years and I also have Ill parents who need caring for and I work part time, so I am run ragged some days. I have little to no support from family when he’s away, and financially most of my wages go on the children, petrol and I pay for our food when he’s away.
I’m at the stage now where I’ve realised I will never ever be my husbands main priority, he supports us financially to an extent but I need more emotional support. This I have told him more times than I can remember and he does try but after a few weeks everything just falls back into the same old ways.
Over the past 3/4 years I’ve noticed when he comes home he always seems stressed, pick at things such as the house not been clean enough, how I do certain things in the house, if I let the kids go on I pads to long. I then get it into my head he doesn’t want to be home which then affects my mental health and self esteem.
I feel guilty saying this as in comparison to other peoples lives these are only little things but over years of him nit picking at me, feeling and being alone emotionally I’m thinking I will be better off mentally on my own. My main worry is how will I manage financially, as I said before my husband pays for the main bulk of the bills, my wage as I am only part time is way less than £900 a month, I don’t no where to start if I can claim benefits if I can afford to rent somewhere or stay in our current house and pay the mortgage. I feel trapped and have no one to talk to.