I was in a fairly psychologically abusive relationship with a suspected narcissist, possibly a sociopath. It ended several years ago but I unavoidably see him sometimes - maybe once or twice a year if that.from time to time, he tries to hoover me probably once every two or three years. I know he is a bad man who is bad for my mental health so I avoid him.
I've noticed that when I am under extreme stress and pressure, I have an overwhelming urge to contact him or google him or check his social media to have some kind of third hand contact. It's like it's a weird form of (self abusive) self-soothing. A knee jerk reaction. It's only when I am highly anxious or distressed.
Someone I loved very much recently passed away and I'm not coping particularly well. This feeling of wanting to see him or google stalk him has returned in an almost overwhelming way. I'm not sure what it is or what's causing it. I haven't done anything and I won't but its' a horrible feeling.
Has anyone had a similar experience? What is this about? I feel like if I knew what was causing it I could manage it better. It's almost like a comfort blanket but there would be no comfort only pain.
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What is this about? Urge to contact him
7 replies
notsuremakes · 05/08/2022 18:34
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