I get that I'm always gonna be wrong when arguing with a narcissist but why do my parents and his parents still support him?
Am I supposed to just do what he says blindly?
I'm questioning myself although I saw a video by someone who talks about narcissism who said that others will always believe the narc.
Labels aside my DH will have tantrums over nothing, refuse to listen to me, and then I'm still supposed to comply with what suits them.
We share a car (as he decided it years ago and refuses to buy one) and there was no arrangement for him to take the car today as we're both supposed to be working but I'm also dealing with a poorly child so can't really work. He told me this morning he'd take the baby for the morning so that I could work and I'm return he could have the car this afternoon . The thing is he only had the baby for about 15 mins then brought him back so I couldn't work. I didn't refuse to take the baby as he needed me but I also haven't managed
to get up, get dressed etc as I'm looking after the baby.
DH was being snarky with even though I had done nothing wrong, complaining about a mark on the carpet that I still haven't cleaned but he's been going on about it and mentioned it twice just this morning. I cleaned it while cleaning the baby's vomit off the floor and walls and he was saying he's going to work now (this was about 11 am) so I questioned when I was going to get any work done as I did have a 20 min job I need to do.
i can't even tell you how it escalated but it did. He said he hadn't done any work either. I pointed out he was going to work this afternoon while I would be looking after the baby. I work full time and don't have the day off. Anyway I said I said he could take the car on the basis he was gonna have the baby all morning but he hasn't done that and I have t been able to do the things I need to do (mainly go to the pharmacy). He shouted at me, put the baby down on the bed and threw the cloth i had used to clean the floor (not at me) and stormed out. He told me he's taking the car whether I like it or not. It is my car so I wasn't really happy with this. I said we could probably agree something if he'd just stop shouting at me and talking over me but he couldn't stop and called me all sorts of names.
I called my mum to update her on the baby being unwell and he walked in demanding to talk to my dad so that he could talk some sense into me. My mum told me to just let him take the car as he needs to get to work but my issue is that I never wanted to share a car but he refuses to discuss it with me (shouts or says "ok fine" but then demands it when he needs it) and that we probably could have come to some agreement today if he'd just not blown his top. If I say anything to respond to what he's saying or counter it he shouts over me and I can't stand it.
He's gone as my dad had given him a lift but I just feel like they don't see that the problem isn't the car it's the fact that he blows his top over nothing.
Last time he started taking air out of the tyres as I said he couldn't take the car and my dad just told me to let him take the car (to which I said no as I feel like a doormat) and then came over to give him a lift.
I don't really know what to do as at the time I just want to discuss it but there is no reasoning with him and then it escalates and I feel like I can't back down.
Even when he was calm I said do you see why I don't feel like I should change my plans so you can take the car and he repeatedly told me he doesn't give a shit about how I feel and is leaving me today but he often says stuff like that and doesn't go. I kind of wish he would.