Silly question!

[Whoops1]

Anyone else’s Dh leave the house for work saying, ‘call x and sort out y’ as they walk to the car? Why do I find this so annoying?! I find it makes me feel like I’m stupid and can’t be trusted to do stuff. Or am I overreacting?!
sorry,I know it’s silly, just wondered if there’s a better way.

[HappyAsASandboy]

I would find that annoying too.

Is he asking you to do jobs for him? Or is he reminding you to do things that are already on your list?

[AnneLovesGilbert]

You’re his wife, not staff, and that’s a rude way to talk to anyone. You’re not overreacting it’s not silly!

What happens if you say no or just don’t do it?

[skgnome]

I’m guessing there’s more to it than a simple request for you to sort something
I sometimes say that to DH - or send him a massive text on things that need doing
sometimes he does it to me
sometimes we both sit and divide whatever life admin needs doing
maybe sit with him the night before organise your home admin and divide the jobs then and then if he says in the morning “do x and y” you can just say “I know we spoke about it, it’s on my list” - or repeat his list to him “of course, remember to do z and w yourself”

[Whoops1]

Thanks all.
I have a looong list of stuff ( obvs!) and he complains if he sees me writing stuff on it as apparently it’s pointless as it doesn’t get done - He means I haven’t done the stuff he wants doing. I think you’re right, we need to go through and prioritise it together.
No, he doesn’t have a list, he works. I’m not sure he realises how long some stuff takes.

[Luredbyapomegranate]

@Whoops1

Thanks all.
I have a looong list of stuff ( obvs!) and he complains if he sees me writing stuff on it as apparently it’s pointless as it doesn’t get done - He means I haven’t done the stuff he wants doing. I think you’re right, we need to go through and prioritise it together.
No, he doesn’t have a list, he works. I’m not sure he realises how long some stuff takes.

I think the first thing is to remind him that you are equal partners. Which means your priorities are as important as is, and he needs to speak to you as an equal.

He’s on the road to treating you like another child. Some men do this to partners at home with kids.

When you go through the list explain that you like to work to a list so he has to get on board with that.

A long list is unmanageable though. If you like physical writing rather than apps, get a notebook, make 3-5 master lists (finance, house, medical, holidays etc), and have a weekly list that you take items from the master list from.

[Whoops1]

Thanks that’s good advice. To be fair to him I am feeling overwhelmed. Mind you he actually spent half an hour with son yesterday and I realised why I am feeling overwhelmed. He works ( very hard) but I do everything else, including picking up Amazon cardboard which he just leaves wherever he’s opened the packet, hanging up shower mat etc. soooo messy.