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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Had enough. Borderline neglect?

5 replies

Narcmotherhelp · 05/08/2022 07:50

Hello. This may seem long winded and abit of a moan, not really sure what I'll get from this but I am getting to the end of my teather to be honest.
We live in a lovely caldi-sac, majority of our neighbours are amazing and I consider them family.

We have a house in the street who have a 4, almost 5 year old child.
I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
Now their little boy comes around, but I have had to put a stop to this as he has been spitting, telling my daughter and her other friends mean things (I'll stab you etc, etc), swearing and just overall abit too much.

He is left to his own devices majority of the day and will swing on our front gate and call her, will come in the garden whilst I have explained this is not okay as I have small dogs running free and my daughter doesn't want to play right now.
Not a peep from the parents who do not leave the house, but when he has taken toys from our garden and ran into his house with them, I have heard the parents say 'he doesn't understand' and plaster all over social media about his 'autism' journey.

He is left to run up, down and across the street without supervision. Has been going though our own and neighbours bins, plays with rubbish, knocks houses and then runs away and will follow people up and down the street. Once again, not a word from parents. I have had to shout across to him multiple times when he has run in front of cars, was putting his face into our neighbours fence who own an unfriendly dog.
The parents are not approachable and have twist everything back to 'he doesn't understand, it's his autism and adhd' and will blast you on social media. Now I know people will call be a cow with me saying that, I am not saying he doesn't have what the parents are claiming. But to constantly post (when I had them as friends on social media) about this, and then let him unsupervised almost all day is wrong.

I don't know what to do. We take other neighbours along with us on walks and days out, and have always been friendly and allowed our garden to be open to the children but now it is too much.
As I was writing this he has come in our garden and taken our ball and he and the parents refused to give it back! I have had a titfull and not sure what I can do.

Would social services look at his? Their two other children still of young age are left to go out alone and have both been reported 'missing' by the mum and were brought back by police but nothing seems to have ever been raised as it is worse now.

OP posts:
bloodyunicorns · 05/08/2022 08:04

Yes, contact social services. I'd also lock your garden gate so he can't get in, and don't leave toys lying around.

Bellezza · 05/08/2022 08:05

Yes, call social services if you are concerned. Being out on his own all day, going through people’s bins and at risk from cars are all concerning.

Things like taking your ball I can see are irritating but not relevant for social services, I think.

Narcmotherhelp · 05/08/2022 08:08

No I know that aha, more of an extreme annoyance as he opened our gate and entered the garden and ran home with it, and the parents refused to give it back!

Probably to lazy to get up and get it off him.

OP posts:
RedRobyn2021 · 05/08/2022 08:13

My neighbours little boy used to be like this when he was about 3/4. Just wondering around on his own up and down the street letting himself in peoples gardens, damaging things, taking things that didn't belong to him. They had a dog as well who uses to wonder around with him sometimes, a big lab/m crosses gold retriever, harmless but boisterous.

I never said anything to the parents but it went on for a couple of years and then it stopped. I think one of our neighbours must have said/done something.

Narcmotherhelp · 05/08/2022 08:18

We have shouted over to him many times (no way the parents cannot hear! Their door has been wide open). When he has ran in front of cars or stuck his head through our neighbours fence with their v unfriendly dog in the garden.

A few weeks ago, our street is prettt steep, he flew down it on wiggle car. My partner and i screamed across the road as if he had come off he would have been killed or hit by a car at the bottom. Parents came out too see what had happened, not a word to us or a thank you and then hes back out.

I know the dad sits all day streaming as his account shows videos for 3-4 hours long, obviously he is out of sight out of mind for them to get on with that they please.

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