Wondering if anyone can shed any light on exactly why I feel like this!! Its affecting all my dating life.
I am 32, had about 4 very short relationships, the longest being this 5 month thing 5 years ago. I haven't had a relationship or anything close since and I mostly think its because of this ex.
When I met this ex, it was perfect. I thought i'd finally found my person in my mid 20s. We had similar personalities and senses of humour. My only concern in the beginning was his experience and my lack of. (having only had a few other very short relationships) We met each others families and attended each others family parties together and etc, we were official.
As a few months went by, I began to feel a bit anxious as felt he was losing interest. We started to argue a bit, I would asked why it felt different from his side and he wasn't texting as much. We fell out a lot but would always make up and he would tell me he did want to be with me.
One time after an argument which came from him not being in touch when he went on a trip for a few days, I told him we needed to work out what was happening as I wasn't happy anymore. He dumped me telling me he didn't feel the same anymore, it was absolutely devastating, I'd been worried I wasn't enough for him, and now he was confirming it.
We bumped into each other a few times on nights out and would hit it off again, start texting again, until he started being distant and again, we'd fall out and not speak again until the next time.
Then after a brief time us considering reconciliation, he told me he wanted to be single. But that wasn't the truth, he was moving on with someone else. They were together about a year and then broke up also, its been about 3 years since they broke up and she is with somebody else now, but he is single.
It took me a long time to get over him, I felt like I loved him based on the good times we had together and the fact we had that similar sense of humour etc. I never met anybody I felt that way about again. He was basically the male version of me. But I accepted that he didn't want me anymore.
Over the past year, he has reached out twice, I ignored both times. They were bread crumbing messages, nothing of substance, him saying he hoped was I was ok. I didn't really feel anything when the messages came through. If anything I felt relieved that I didn't care if he was in touch or he wasn't. I felt like I must be finally completely over it and indifferent.
But I've recently started dating again, and I find myself comparing everyone to this ex from 5 years ago. I know he treated me badly, but I'm comparing things to those early days with him, and so far, nobody is coming close. :( Its like I want to relive the early days with him again as it was so fun and felt so amazing. (For the record, I could never go back now)
Its been so long, why do I feel this way? Am I really even over him afterall?
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Relationships
5 month relationship 5 years ago
username20101 · 04/08/2022 20:03
ManAboutTown · 04/08/2022 20:21
To be honest 5 months isn't that long and he has been with a new partner. The messages in the last year sound a bit like he is pissed up and seeing if he can get a bite.
Forget him and find someone who you deserve
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