to be divorced and not sure where to go

[themarina]

do my husband and i reached to a point where divorce to the best option for us


i am not going to talk about how i feel, and why we got here .
because he is determined that this is what we should do, so this is happening.

however, i am unemployed, i do not have any source of income.
i do not have any family here in england
i have a child who is starting school in few weeks.

i am lost !
he promised to help and support until i sort my things out
but i am not sure where to start ?
where am i going to live, housing benefits ? income support ?
what if i got employed ? am i to lose any benifits or support from the gov. ?
what about my child ? is my child staying with me, even when i am unemployed ?

any piece of information will help me.
thanks

[Sunshineandflipflops]

Well if you work, you should receive some support from the government to help you. I can't comment on if you don't work as I have never been in that position.

I was working part-time when my ex husband and I separated and received help via universal credit to top up my wages, along with financial support from my ex.

I have recently found a full time job so my UC will likely end. Although I won't be much better off financially, it will hopefully give me more options for the future to progress.

Your husband will need to pay child maintenance at the least so hopefully that with some employment and government help should be enough for you and your child to live.

Who your child lives with depends on whatever agreement you and your husband come up with really, unless you both have wildly different ideas about that. Mine are with me 60% of the time and with my ex 40%.

[ManAboutTown]

He is going to have to be contributing a lot longer than "until I sort my things out" - child maintenance mainly but probably for you as well given what you have said certainly until your child reaches 18

Short term...

• get a solicitor to advise you on what you can claim as part of the divorce. It is not clear how long you have been together or what the marital assets are but you should be entitled to a proportion of those and the solcitior can help you with that
• on your benefit entitlements then Citizens Advice is a good place to start - can help with things like assisted accommodation and claiming benefits

In the longer term you will need to come to an agreement over child access. it is not clear what your employability is but once your child starts school I would definitely pursue that. Finally there is a decision on which country to live in - being a single parent in a country with no family will be tough unless you have a good network of friends ( not clear from your post whether you have that)

[5zeds]

why do you have to move out?

[themarina]

@ManAboutTown , thanks for your reply , yeah he is willing to pay child maintenance, and said that he will take care of whatever our daughter needs.

i am waiting to pass one single exam and then will be able to work, and the exam is in november.
i can try finding a part time job when daughter starts school, but i will not be able to do full time as i need to study.

he told me that i can stay in the house until i finish exams, but i am not intending to stay in the house longer than that
its his house in his name and i would like to have my own place

I have emailed citizen advice and waiting for their reply

about moving out, i would love to go back where my mom lives, but that is very far away and i do not want my daughter to be far away from her dad.
i know people here, but no close friends.
thats why i am asking about this issue here as i have no close people to ask for advice but my family and they can't help with the technicality of things, i dont want to worry them

[ManAboutTown]

@themarina

Well some positives there - at least you can make it through to your exam and he will pay maintenance. Use that period to make some plans

In the interim get some legal advice - you say it is his house in his name but if you have been married for a while then you are entitled to a share of the marital assets. Obviously we can't do all the details here but an hour with a divorce solicitor will be time well invested - do that sooner rather than later

[Louie26]

There is a site called "turn to us" I If you go on there and put basic information in it will tell you what you will be entitled too.

Also contact the council and explain your situation they maybe able to help with your housing too or at least give you some information on where to start

[5zeds]

The house is presumably half yours as is all the money/stuff. Married people share everything.

[stealthninjamum]

How long have you been married? Will you have your child for more overnights?

The needs of your child are first so you may get a share of the house as well as maintenance. If you know your husband’s salary the government have a maintenance calculator which you can use to work out what he needs to pay you as a minimum.

[stealthninjamum]

Op it seems scary but it isn’t.

when my ex moved out I put factual, financial information on an a4 sheet of paper

How long we’d been together (cohabiting as well as marriage)
Value of house, length of mortgage left, amount left to pay
Details on ages of children
Pension details
The amount I’d contributed to our house deposit (which was irrelevant as we’d been together so long)
His salary

I met two solicitors for an hour each (I paid rather than getting a free half an hour) and they told me what I could be expected to get.

it is scary but maybe take some notes from this thread and start making a plan. Your first start could be meeting a solicitor and working out what the maintenance might be.

[Shehasadiamondinthesky]

If its his house in his name it doesn't matter as you are married, you will entitled to some of it and don't have to leave until the court has decided this. Don't rush to leave, you could be homeless.