Panicking about baby after scan

[Greyso]

Had 5 month scan and was told all ok but I’ve been under horrendous stress. I lost DP at 12 weeks in an accident, I am devastated but also the relationship was all but over so it’s been very emotionally confusing. We’d been together 18 months and we were on the cusp of breaking up but obviously I I’ve still been devastated and not been able to sleep or eat.

I keep thinking there’s something wrong with the baby. I don’t know why and I’ve told GP and midwives and anyone who will listen frankly!! And been told it’s ok, that they can’t check everything but all seems normal etc.

I feel so scared and worried. The stress is surely damaged them? They were also an accident with a condom and I’ve even started wondering if that could have damaged the sperm as they would have been trapped initially then broken through. I am having really crazy thoughts and have told my GP I really need mental health support but nothing happens. I am so scared the baby won’t have a leg or will be unwell or mentally anxious etc.

Hi OP. You need to get help with these thoughts.
if you’ve had a scan there’s no chance your baby will be missing a leg without you seeing it.
You’ve been through an awful lot lately but I doubt that stress and grief will do anything “bad” to the baby.
You on the other hand need help.
Have you told your midwife and GP exactly what kind of thoughts you are having and that you are very stressed and anxious?

Ps your thoughts about the condom is, I hope you realise, utterly daft (it doesn’t work like that (sperm don’t get trapped and have to fight etc). But I think you recognise this..?

Another saying seek help for your anxiety. You've been through a lot, it's no surprise you are struggling.

Your midwife can refer you to perinatal MH services.

Hi OP,
Sorry for your loss, it must be a really stressful time for you.

Do you live in England? All areas should have a Perinatal Mental Health Service - they work specifically with pregnant women/new mums.

Can you Google your local one and give them a call? Or tell your GP you need to be referred to the service.

Goodness your life has been an emotional rollercoaster recently, no wonder your anxious. Has your GP offered any solutions to help with anxiety? If not I'd be inclined to go back and ask for help.
Your baby is fine, doctors, sonography and midwife has confirmed that so be assured they'd have found issues if there were any. Good luck and do get some support

I’m so sorry for your loss @Greyso

It sounds like you’ve been asking for help but no one is listening, which is crap.

Can you call you midwife and ask for a referral to the maternity mental health team? Every area should have one, but might be called something different depending on area.

If still no referral then contact the Patient Advisory Liaison Service (PALS) at your maternity hospital, to kick start a referral.

If they say everything looks OK in the scan, then everything looks OK.

Escaping from a condom would not affect sperm in any way. They did their job and fertilised egg, they were functional and effective.

All this is because something shocking, catastrophic, horrendous, unbelievable, traumatic etc has happened... and your brain is expecting similar to happen again.

But what happened is rare and has nothing to do with your pregnancy and future kids.