Is he losing interest?

[DaisyDooxox]

I’m 26 and I’ve been seeing this guy for almost 5 months (he’s 28). We first met on Tinder and texted eachother for a month. I was reluctant to meet him straight away as he was the first person I spoke to after being in an 8 year relationship beforehand. Our texts were always flirtatious but he genuinely cared about how my days were going.

We met after a month and we are now officially BF/GF. Everything’s great for the most part. He is really nice to me, he cooks for me, I stay at his on Wednesdays and over the weekend, he got me a key, the sex is fantastic, etc.

The past couple of times we hung out we’ve ate dinner together, watched TV and cuddled, but he didn’t seem like he wanted to have sex so we didn’t. I try to keep things flirty via text message when we are not together, but he tries to avoid/ cut the conversation short and change the subject. Due to only seeing eachother limited times a week, we have sex on average once per week.

He shows care and genuine interest in me though. He is very independent, has his own place, his own dog and works longer hours. I am his first serious girlfriend. His family have told me I must be special to him as they haven’t met his other family members. He calls me each day after work.

Since I’m traumatized from past relationships, I always take no sex as a sign that they’re losing interest in me. I really hope that’s not the case because I really like him and maybe he genuinely just wanted to chill with me? But my track record from my past is telling me otherwise.

So I’m just wondering if I’m overthinking it and traumatized from past relationships because I’m so used to living with a boyfriend (my last boyfriend didn’t have much going on in his life other than work). What do you guys think?

It's hard to tell if he's actually losing interest or if it's the end of the honeymoon phase and the start of the next phase of your relationship

It can be normal around the 6-12 month mark for things to settle into a more normal day-to-day life type of routine

I was posting about this myself a couple of months ago....

If you're happy enough with it but just need some reassurance that he's not gone off gig then speak to him about it (this was my situation). However, if the initial excitement has died down and you're no longer feeling he's making enough effort etc then its not a great sign either of you

Maybe he's just got a low sex drive? I had this with my BF (although we're a lot older than you). You really ought to discuss it with him and find out what the problem is, or indeed if there's a problem at all.

Sounds like he has a low sex drive. At your ages you should be all over each other at this stage of the relationship.

It's hard to say, but maybe there are other factors at play. Is he stressed at work for example? I know if work is crazy for me I loose interest in sex even though my partner is stunning and I love her dearly

According to what rules? Some people like lots of sex, some don't like as much. Why are you saying what people 'should' be doing?

OP, ask him. If you can't ask him how he's feeling about your sex life together, then you have a different problem from the one you're posting about.

'Is it just my trauma?' is a way of getting yourself into unsatisfactory or even abusive situations. What if you are feeling this way due to past traumas? Do you think that means you just need to dismiss your feelings and pretend you're fine? If you have trauma in your past, you need your partner to reassure you more, rather than trying to seek less reassurance when you need it.

What do you think would happen if you asked him how he felt about your sex life? About how things seem a little less, lately?

@easylisten 28 isn't a young lad. He's a grown man, plenty old enough by anybody's standards to be in a committed and faithful relationship.

There's another perspective to this. Perhaps he's enjoying having an intimate and emotional connection with someone that's deeper than sex?

It's a stereotype that men are all sex obsessed and only show their interest by initiating it frequently. Men also desire an emotional connection. Men also have varying sex drives.

How would you feel about your current sex life with him, if you took all of your concerns out of the equation?

Do you want to be having sex more, or do you simply feel you should be?

If it's really bothering you, just talk to him about it.

True.

He sounds like a keeper! It's not all about the sex for him..how rare is that early in a relationship.