Family you don't see for dust unless there is a newborn on the scene

[Corinne82]

Does anyone else have family that they don't see for dust, that then want to be all over a newborn, only to disappear again? If so, how do you handle that with another baby?

The first time round we genuinely thought they were interested in having a relationship with the baby but said baby is two now and they haven't seen her for a year(!). I just know we will get texts or knocks at the door and I feel so resentful (as does DH) and like we wont want to let them in. I'm angry for DD that she is forgotten about. I know they'll be all over the new one and then gone again.

Can anyone relate, have you actually had the balls to tell them to fuck off the second time round?

If you get knocks have they disappeared? I've been there for most part but they've never knocked even when they've been at a football stadium 2 mins walk from
My house every other week

They don't knock. We expect they will ask to come or just rock up when the next baby arrives. We don't see DH's family generally, but they made a big song and dance of wanting to get to know DD and only live half an hour away. Saw her a handful of times and then nothing for a year (she's 2).

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. They just want to meet the baby that's all.

It's easy for a year to fly by without visiting someone as life can get in the way.

How many times have you offered to bring your 2 year old to see them?

Four times in the last year. More the year before.

Half of them are also retired. They don't work full time and have zero free time etc. It just feels like a newborn is novel and they don't give a toss otherwise. Which feels really shit for DD, who's nose is probably going to be slightly out of joint anyway.

I'm one of these. I have a massive family and I live 200 miles away. I go when I can, and when I am not looking after my mother. They appreciate this and we keep in touch via text message. Sometimes I come home and don't see them, because im visiting someone 's new house, or a sick relative or celebrating an engagement.

People are just busy.

Don't take it too personally.

Or they're just not that into your child, or children in general.

Yeah but they're not 200 miles away, it's 12 miles.

If they can't be fucked with DD they can take a running jump about wading in for newborn cuddles with the next. I'm talking about grandparents mainly. They show so little interest. They don't technically even know DD can walk or talk because they never ask about her. I think they've lost their right to show up when they feel like it now. It doesn't feel like we could ever ask them for help ie. If isolating and needing groceries or something.

I think the clue is she is 2 years old.
We have had this thing called covid.....

How many times do you go to famliy houses