Is it’s me? Am I the one at fault

[Ebony666]

Sorry for the long post
I have been with my husband for 14yrs married for 8, I am 20yrs his senior and we have a child together, for a long time we have had a very loving and happy relationship, but in the last few years things have become really strained, and according to my husband it’s all down to me, I should entertain him, and do what he wants me to to make him happy, , , he me wants to sext other men and meet them for sex, and he wants to read the any messages and wants to watch if I decide to meet up with them, he says this turns him on, I have been very honest and said I am not comfortable with this and consider it to be like cheating. He says it’s not because he’d know and it and happy for me to do it.

i don’t want to do it and have point blank refused, he continues to go on about it. His whole attitude has got worse , I have had the worst couple of years losing my mum to covid and then being diagnosed and treated for breast cancer, he tells me he’s supported me through this ( I don’t think he has, I have still been expected to perform ) he expects me to entertain him ( he has a camera set up in the bedroom that he watches from downstairs) when he wants it, he says I am using my cancer as an excuse to not have sex ( my treatment only finished at Christmas I still get exhausted and am very self conscious of my scar from my lumpectomy ) if I don’t entertain him to his expectation then he becomes nasty sending me insulting and nasty txt messages calling me an old hag etc and telling me no one else would put up with my behaviour , if I don’t improve then he’ll go and have sex with another woman and send me pictures, he’s convinced himself it’s all me, and although I know it’s not all down to me he has me apologising all the time for my ‘behaviour’ eg by falling asleep after a 40-50hr week at work Is me not appreciating him and all he does, he throws things about all the while our child is asleep upstairs. I do love him, but I don’t like the person he’s becoming

Is it me? Am I at fault? I know he’s younger and has a different outlook on life but why would you do this to someone you’re supposed to love.

LTB

It's definitely not you.

Are you happy? He sounds awful why would you love him and his demands.I would have counselling if I were you this is not normal you do know this don’t you ?Really think about what is happening you are worth more than this.Good luck.

He sounds horrendous OP.

This isn't working OP.

You need to see a solicitor and find out what your options/entitlements are.

Sorry x

That all sounds appalling. You are being emotionally abused. You need to get out

He sounds absolutely appalling OP. You deserve better.

Get out. NOW!

No it’s not you, he sounds grim.

Of course it is not you? I can’t believe you are really asking! Time to part way s I think.

How do you think you might be at fault?

Oh my god this is horrific, ugh it’s not you whatsoever he sounds awful!

I wouldn’t want to stay in this relationship, it sounds like he’s worn you down the fact he’s got you to a point you’re thinking this could possibly be you ☹️

What’s your financial situation? Can you leave? Would he go if you told him the relationship was over?

You don’t need to live with this awful man OP, please make plans to leave this relationship.

It's not you, it's him.

Do not stay with this man for the sake of the child either. Better to be on your own with your child than to be as badly accompanied as you are now.

He’s abusing you full stop!

I cannot believe you are bringing up a child in this environment. He sounds like a revolting creep.

He's vile. Run - far, far away.