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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Made the decision to split. Logistical advice please!

9 replies

jazzyoldjim · 03/08/2022 10:43

Have posted here before for advice on my failing relationship. I have made the decision that it needs to end. We have been together 10 years, married 6. We have a 4yo and a 8m old baby.

The difficulty lies with the housing situation. We currently live in a 3bed house that my H's parents own. We pay monthly rent to them. My H works full time for the NHS and his salary is about 19k. I am about to finish my maternity leave and I work for a dentist part time, I earn about £600 a month. We claim universal credit and usually receive anything from £800-£1100 a month depending on actual salary received and childcare costs.

We haven't discussed what will happen with the house and the children as yet but I want to go into the conversation with some kind of idea/plan.

I think it is best if I move out, seeing as his parents own this house. But I would need to privately rent and I will be looking at £1200 a month for that, plus a deposit of around the same, which I absolutely do not have. I could afford to stay in this house and pay for it myself but somehow I don't think thats the best idea.

Just wondering if anyone has any advice for me, or has been in a similar situation, what did you do?

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/08/2022 11:51

Do not move out or do anything until you have sat down and discussed all this with a Solicitor. You need legal advice urgently on this point and other matters pertaining to divorce.

jazzyoldjim · 03/08/2022 12:01

@AttilaTheMeerkat Why?

OP posts:
TeachesOfPeaches · 03/08/2022 12:16

Please get some legal advice and don't agree to anything beforehand.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/08/2022 12:18

You are married to this man and have rights in law. Exercise those fully and do not sell yourself potentially short here. This is a more complex situation than it would be if you and your current husband were for instance named on a mortgage.

jazzyoldjim · 03/08/2022 13:22

I'm not sure if I can afford legal advice really.

OP posts:
Xpologog · 03/08/2022 14:29

Are you sure his family own the house? I’d check the Land Registry ( costs about £5, tells you who the legal owner is and if there’s a mortgage)
You can often get half hour free legal advice— go with a list of questions.

Bonheurdupasse · 03/08/2022 14:35

Watching with interest....OP I'm not a solicitor at all but there may be some legal concepts of use to you here. Not sure at all so agree , check with a solicitor!

jazzyoldjim · 03/08/2022 14:36

@Xpologog I'm sure. We helped them choose it, they bought it specifically for us to rent from them.

OP posts:
NightOwl101 · 03/08/2022 15:05

You need to be served a section 21 by your landlords and then you can present that to the council that you and your children will be homeless. If you don't do this and just leave then you will have intentionally made yourself homeless and won't be entitled to any help, even if it is just help with a deposit for renting privately.

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