Hi there,
And namely I need a psychological counseling around my relationship, more precisely.... because of my girlfriend.
We have been together for about 4 months and from the first moment it was wonderful and immediately moved in together.... We met each other's parents, she told everyone how she has never been so happy, I am the one and how she would never let me go.
The problem was that before me she had a difficult time, was treated badly by men, difficult childhood, from her environment she saw, as from her father also from others like how they cheated their wifes.
She blames herself for a lot of things that went wrong as a child and has been telling herself for years that she is not a person worthy of love, that she does not deserve love from others, etc.
During the time with me, even when she was so very happy, she was always skeptical, always asked how can I be such a person, to cuddle her constantly, so kind and lovly to her ? why am I so to her ? why do I love her so much ?
The more time went by, then came moments where she was convinced that I did not love her but simply endure (when I did something that she did not like ).
She wanted to know everything about my ex-girlfriends and was jealous in the end (without reason).
And every time she had doubted my love, brought always my ex in the game, as I could actually have something better, as it was wrong from her side with me immediately came together and should have dumpedt me so that I should run after her.
The more I loved her and the more beautiful it was with us, the stronger doubts came.
Shortly before everything collapsed we had another discussion (never a fight) again about how she thinks I don't love her (she drank a bit hehe) I told her that she is so important to me that I would even marry her right away, that I don't want to have any other...
Our last week was the most beautiful we had, especially the last evening (we were on vacation). She had to travel back earlier because of work while I had to stay a little longer because I used to live there and was still registered, had to take care of some documents.
On the complete return trip ( hers ) until she arrived, we wrote constantly, she sent me pictures constantly of us and how she already miss me now, that I should come back as soon as possible....
The next day, completely a different person !!!! She had only bad thoughts about me, told herself many things... looking for reasons that I don't love her but only used her... and that she doesn't believe me anymore.
Couple of days later, we clarified everything but she still doubted whether we should be together and was of the opinion that we should go separate ways....
She misses me every day, the cuddling, the everyday and all the little things that go with it.... And she wants it all somehow but she is afraid.
She thinks that I am very fixated on her because I don't know any other women in town except her (but I don't want any other, only her).
That she is very broken and that if we had children they would be suicidal.
That I should have no hope that we will ever find together again, but she would love to see me because I am still important to her.
Well, I don't know exactly what to think... she is a very big overthinker and always goes strongly into the negative especially about herself.
Is she pulling herself down?
Plays there ne very big fear and the nicer it was with both of us the bigger the fear became ? because of her bad experience and men picture from the environment.
She always said that someday I will cheat on her 100%, because all men are like that.
Or has she really finished and feels nothing more for me, from one day to the next.
I want to fight for her and show her that I love her more than anything and I don't care how difficult she is sometimes, that doesn't bother me because I love her the way she is.
How do you see it ?
thank you in advance for the answer and best regards