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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I leave?

4 replies

mumofyoung2 · 03/08/2022 09:54

Me and OH have a 2 year old and an 8 month old. Since we had DD1 things haven't been 100%. He would sleep all day and for the first 3 months I felt like a single mum. We moved and thing started to improve for a while, we the suffered a miscarriage and decided then that we definitely wanted to have another baby. Things started to go downhill again so I decided to stop trying but it turned out I was already pregnant, which I was happy about and wouldn't change a thing.

Things continued to go downhill and still are more than a year on from this point. When we argue it's constantly my fault and he can never take any blame. He always seems to have a chip on his shoulder and by the end of the argument I find myself apologising just to get it to end as I start to feel intimidated and concerned that the children are hearing him swear at me and call me names. I have no money, no family that can help me so I feel really stuck.

It's gotten to the point that he chooses to sleep on the sofa and then blames me for 'feeling like he can't sleep in the bed'. I haven't been very intimate with him since our pregnancy with DD2 and I'm not sure if it's hormones that have continued with the breastfeeding or if it's because I'm not happy here anymore.

I feel stupid for even saying anything as I'm probably just being ridiculous, I just really need some advice... thanks!

OP posts:
oobeedoobee · 03/08/2022 10:59

Leave. The relationship isn't working, isn't equal, and has abusive elements.

StarCourt · 03/08/2022 11:20

Yes leave and don't have more children with him

CuntyMcBollocks · 03/08/2022 13:04

Definable leave. Him blaming you for everything and calling you names is abuse. You and your kids deserve better.

Watchkeys · 03/08/2022 13:33

If you're asking the question, just leave. If your kids asked you in the future 'Why have you stayed with Dad when you're so unhappy?' are you really going to be pleased to tell them you stayed with him because MN said to?

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