Hard to divorce

[Catladycrazy]

I’m very close to my brother and it’s breaking my heart to see him the way he is just now. He’s been married 20 years with 2 pre-teen kids. He’s been unhappy in his marriage for a long time and wants to leave. He’s been trying to leave for three years now but his wife doesn’t want to give up any time with the kids so any time he talks about it or tries to leave she goes crazy and threatens to keep the kids from him. She knows this keeps him there as he can’t bear the thought of not seeing the kids.

He knows that he has legal rights but he also knows that he might not see the kids for months if she is difficult and is waiting for it to be sorted out in court. Also added complication is that she works for a solicitor who gives her free (and in my opinion quite underhand) advice about all the ways she can keep the kids from him.

it’s absolutely tearing him apart and I just don’t know how to help him. Has anyone got experience of similar, or any words of advice?

She can't keep the children away from him unless there is a risk.
She can make as many threats as she wants but that won't happen.
Obviously your brother is going to need to consider what is best and most fair for the children and unfortunately accept that he is going to loose time with them, as will she, but he won't loose his parental rights.
I have been on the other side to this, well, sort off. My ex husband wild threaten to take the children off me all the time as part of his abuse. I spoke to solicitors who said childcare in a court is deemed in a child's best interest and it's not in the best interest to stop contact from a parent unless there's a risk. Obviously the quantity of time will be deemed depending on the circumstances.
Your brother needs to leave. He won't enjoy his life or his children when he's im such a awful relationship.
He will have to start a huge period of grief as he adjusts to cot parenting, but if he is as unhappy as you say it will balence smdnwork out in time.
It isn't healthy for children to see parents unhappy so he's taking steps forward for them all.

I really feel for your brother, it's such an awful thing to go through.

How old are the children?