Feeling really low

[Honeyandlemonnn]

I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for but I just feel extremely depressed . My partner who I've been living with for almost 3 years is very verbally and emotionally abusive . We share a 2 year old together and I am also 4 months pregnant. I finally found the strength to leave him and the council allocated me a temporary accommodation. I was happy and thought this was a fresh start for me . Until days after packing my things into the property and cleaned it
I saw multiple cockroaches everywhere all over the bathroom, in the toilet and in the kitchen. I left the place in a panic in the middle of the night and went back to my partners property.

I thought maybe I could give it a try. However 2 days I had a miscarriage scare and had to go hospital . And he refused to look after our toddler or come with me so I went with my toddler . Luckily all was fine however it was found that the symptoms I had were related to an infection I have . Due to the infection I am very feverish , I'm having shivers and also cramps on my stomach and back, on top of that I've also got an awful cold so I feel like absolute shit and can only manage to do the bare minimum . As a result last night the dishes were not washed .

This morning when I wake up my partner starts a argument with me because the dishes were unwashed and now he can't find a clean cup and spoon to make his coffee , I told him he can see I'm unwell he can wash this dishes himself he then turned around and told me ' now I see why your mum got what happened to her'. For context my mum lives 12 hours away by flight and a few days ago ended up hurt in a domestic violence situation so I have been extremely stressed about her . After he said that I started shaking and went absolutely mad .

Anyways now it's midnight and I can't sleep , I feel depressed , and very low, I wouldn't harm myself but I don't want to be alive anymore . My spirit is broken and I feel so weak I can't take it anymore . Im not sure why im writing this post but I think im just hoping I can get feel better so I can find my strength to get out of this situation .

You only feel like this because of this life sucking scumbag you're living with. Focus back on yourself and your dc, go back to the council and see what else they can do to help you with accommodation. Womens aid will also help you. Make sure you know who to call, e.g council maintenance, a friend, neighbor, ANYONE to save you having to rely on this scum bag for anything on the future. You are worth so
Much more than how you feel, it's not you and you'll feel better once you're away and free of him. This is a bump in the road, YOU CAN DO IT!!

Ahh my heart breaks for you .. I really hope you find the strength to leave him . Is there any way you could go back to that house and maybe get some friends to give you help in getting rid of the cockroaches and disinfect everything . IF this man can treat you this way when your carring his child it's a major RED flag ,he will not change only get worse . Please don't waste any more time with a person like him . I wish you the very best 💕

My spirit is broken and I feel so weak I can't take it anymore . Im not sure why im writing this post

Your spirit isn't broken. Your spirit wrote this post, asking for support, so that it wouldn't break. Your spirit is alive and kicking. Many have been where you are, and many have come through the other side stronger and wiser. You'll be fine; you're having one of life's tough lessons, but a few cockroaches and a git haven't squashed you. Don't forget that nobody else in the world has the same combination of lovely attributes as you; you're unique. You just have to put yourself in the right place to be appreciated. First thigs first, get well. That's your priority. Ignore anyone who doesn't have that priority in mind for you.

very sorry to hear you are feeling low when you have so much to look forward to with your toddler and new baby. do you have any friends or family nearby? if not I think you should also try women’s aid - contact them for support

Call women's aid asap

sorry you are so low right now but great you reached out for help. You have so much to look forward to with your children. Can you call council in the morning? Do you have any family or friends to help? You must leave him again - you’ve done it before you can again.

Hi oP hope you managed some sleep - will you call wonens aid I hope you get some help today