Ex has filed missing child report

[BetterDays2223]

Separated from ex some months ago. He couldn’t/wouldn’t do the decent thing and accept it was over.
I took a non molestation order against him, as he assaulted me before the split.

he would not agree to see the children after this happened - said it was ‘too upsetting’ and he didn’t want to ‘pay money just see see his kids’ (e.g trips out).

he then began harassment towards our son - called him 25 times in an hour, messaged to tell he ‘wasn’t nice anymore.’

We have been to court (about the non mol) but for some reason, ex has not gone for child contact.

He has now messaged various friends of mine to say he’s so worried that we have moved (we did) and has made a missing child report concerning our children.

Its all quite ridiculous to me - he has parental responsibility, nothing has stopped him from seeing the children except the fact he hasn’t applied to!

How seriously will the police take this report?

Not seriously at all. Make sure they understand your address and location needs to stay confidential.

How far have you moved ??

Do you know if he's really made the report, or just told you that he has.

My ex used to do similar.... or tell me he had, anyway.

Just keep your cool. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he's riled or upset you.

"I'll be happy to speak to the Police when they contact me."

Stay calm. At the very most, the police will do a welfare check. If they show up, be clear that you haven't prevented him from seeing his children, and there is a non-mo in place.

I doubt he'll have made the report though. It will just show him to be the difficult party. And the police can spot when they are being manipulated.

Have you kept all the harassing texts? When you speak to the police show them. They’ll have seen this before and realise his motives.

Show the police the non-mol order. Tell them everything about why it was issued. Ensure they understand the risks to you and your son if he knows where you live.

The most they should tell him is that they've spoken with you, seen you and your son, he's safe and well and that's it. If you're in a different force area, ask them to relay the message via his force area (i.e. you're in Northumberland and he's in Hampshire - get Hampshire to relay the message to him) so he doesn't know where you are in the country.

He may have told people that he has made a missing child report, but that doesn't mean he has actually done so.

Believe it when you see it. Don't bite, this is likely just one of a long line of things designed to get a reaction out of you.

Is the non mol still in place? Ex sounds like a real price of work but the police should be able to see a record of it all

Thanks all.

Non mol is still in place.

I was thinking along the lines of this is just him playing a game.

He is happy to keep going back to court, to ‘clear his name’ (family court not criminal- he accepted a caution for the assault so that admits guilt anyway?) but hasn’t taken steps to actually start the process of child visitation.

Actually ashamed that this is the man that I chose to have children with but we live and learn!

Seems to me like hes trying to get your new address. The police etc. Wont do anything if he has reported. Make the non mol order clear to them too and that your location is not to be disclosed.

He sounds a little like my ex. When he couldn't get a reaction from me he would tell people things he knew would get back to me to try get some sort of reaction.

Can you change you and your sons numbers or at least block him? Set up email accounts and only ever use that to communicate with him?

I'm so glad you guys got away from him.

Changed our numbers, emails, everything.

If he has been messaging your friends, then it does seem like he is trying to find out your new contact details, and is using this as a pretext.

I hope you can trust your friends to not be fooled by him.

Given his past behaviour, if he had tried to make a missing child report it would take the Police less than five minutes to see right through his attempt. In addition, they would take a very dim view of him trying to waste their time. It’s probably a lie, determined to make whoever he told to feel sorry for him.

Hi OP. I'm a family solicitor. The non mol should have been served upon your local police force, so they should have a record of this.

Depending on what your non mol says, I usually put a clause in that says he cannot contact you via third parties eg friends and family. If you have this, then he is in breach of the non mol which is an arrestable offence. If you used a solicitor to obtain the non mol, then he should be contacting your solicitor re child contact, if that's really what he is after.

Please note this does not constitute legal advice, I am speaking generically. If you have any concerns, contact your solicitor.

He’s deliberately being evasive in the messages - he doesn’t ask friends to contact me on his behalf.
Just very long messages saying how sad he is, he is innocent and worried about the children.

I don’t buy it - if the shoe was on the other foot, the first thing I’d have gone for was child contact. He hasn’t. This feels like it’s about me, not ever the children