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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Online Dating

7 replies

dairyfruitandnutcase · 02/08/2022 19:27

I've been on a few dating sites and I've realised why I've been ghosted with the chat a few times. I've been rather stupid not realising this.

I am upfront that I don't want anything casual. Most men my age will jump at the chance for a no strings shag so they chat to me until they can get this.

One of them got back in touch today to say he'd had a one nighter. I felt like telling him to sod off.

Anyone else get this? I've had no luck on match.com or Bumble or paying sites. I feel like giving up.

OP posts:
BringBackTeletext · 02/08/2022 19:28

How long have you been online dating? I met my OH on Bumble. I say ‘met’ - we had mutual friends so I knew of him beforehand. We’ve been together 3.5 years - there are some decent ones out there, give it time!

dairyfruitandnutcase · 02/08/2022 19:30

I've been on and off the dating sites for years. I met a few men I liked and dated them for a short time. I thought I'd have another go,

I'm glad it's worked out for you. It's all down to luck but I don't seem to have any.

OP posts:
Jenhen89 · 02/08/2022 19:32

Met my fiancé and father of my child on POF! Had to kiss a lottttt of frogs first, but just be yourself and don’t change who you are. Obviously don’t ram it down their throats as soon as you start messaging, but it’s perfectly acceptable to ease it into conversation what you’re looking for and not wanting a one night stand!

dairyfruitandnutcase · 02/08/2022 19:37

I usually say I'm looking to date. If they invite themselves round to mine on the first date or any other red flags I tell them I'm not looking for anything casual.

OP posts:
DatingDinosaur · 02/08/2022 19:46

“One of them got back in touch today to say he'd had a one nighter. I felt like telling him to sod off.”

That’s exactly what you should do!

“Hi Steve. Thanks for letting me know. I will sleep a lot better tonight now you’ve told me. However, I won’t take up any more of your time now as I’m sure you’ll be itching to tell all the other women you ghosted about your impressive conquest. All the best, dairyfruitandnutcase”

DatingDinosaur · 02/08/2022 19:50

Or

"That's wonderful news Steve, I'm so pleased for you. Now, go tell someone who gives a crap. All the best."

hellodarknight · 02/08/2022 21:02

@DatingDinosaur - good suggestion but after a few messages I will ignore him back Grin

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