Would this bother you?

[LooseGoose22]

I'm having ongoing issues with a sister because she told two members of her church about my health issue, without asking me if it was OK beforehand.

The first church member told a select group within her church - I have no idea of my sister knew they'd do that or not when she told them.

The second member, she told during a disagreement between them about my sister's attendance at church. (The issue was very worrying for about a week, during which my sister would have- if she dud miss that week- missed 1 week, and I think the disagreement was about longer term attendance patterns).

She told me about both people, clearly not thinking there was anything that would annoy or offend me/the person on the receiving end.

(I am not a member of her (or any) church), and am in a different town (nut know, and am known by people in my home town where she lives).

I was annoyed at the time but bit my tongue until recently, when she made comments about her discretion(how discrete she us). etc and I cracked and mentioned it. Relationship has been strained since.

BTW I don't think she would appreciate the equivalent.

How would you feel about this?
Am I being unfair?

Bump

How did you find out she told people at her church?

I'd feel she was a bit of a dick and owed me a massive apology.

The huff she is taking for being called on her shit wouldn't wash with me. I'd just leave her be until she saw fit to apologise.

She told me ... that's why I said she clearly felt there was nothing wrong with it.

She sort of apologised when I raised it she said something along the lines of being stressed/distressed/low (about a combination of things)and "in her weakness" reaching out to church members.

I just feel that she should really have asked/ok'd it before discussing it with people I don't know, outside our immediate family (?)

At the time she seemed to be saying she'd told them most facts.. when we argued she said she barely told them anything; i don't know if that's true or just the version she's saying since I've complained/raised it.

The behaviour is also irksome because at the time I felt she did not support or stay in steady contact with me, I actually felt avoided.

The huff she is taking for being called on her shit wouldn't wash with me.

I wouldn't say she's huffing per se, it's just strained.

The "discussion" about discretion moved onto other issues, and she maintained (after discussing my issue) that she is generally very discrete etc etc.
I could not school myself to look like I agreed, she pushed on what else I could possibly say about her discretion and I said that off the top of my head; her telling me and other people about my eldest sister being relieved of significant amounts of money by a dating scammer did not seem to be something she (my eldest sister) would have been OK with... that resulted in this sister crying, getting very angry and leaving. I clearly should have just said nothing and agreed that she's normally the soul of discretion and circumspection 😬.

Things have not been "normal" since.

I suppose you could say I shouldn't hsve told her about the health issue, since I had experience of her behaviour, but I told her because a. I was distressed, and b. Primarily because it had implications for the females in our family.