Any tips for living together when you know it's over?

[Toes89]

My H is an arsehole. And I've finally accepted that despite the huge disruption and upset it will cause I have to leave.

H has no idea. I mean he knows we are unhappy but he has no idea my mind is made up. He's going to try every trick in the book to prevent it happening and then when he knows its not possible to persuade me, he will drag things out as long as poss.

Anyway my question is how to survive this bit? I haven't seen a solicitor yet properly and that is first on my list. I have covid so things are hard to get moving

I've tried ignoring him but he just hassles me "what the f is wrong with you?" "Why are you sulking". I've tried just being normal and nice but it's impossible when he is so useless and horrible to me. I just want to look after the DC, focus on getting better and crack on with planning the rest of my life. He is currently sleeping on the sofa so that's OK but as soon as he wakes he is going to be asking what's wrong etc

I don't want to tell him its over yet because I have covid so I don't feel I have the energy for the fallout but more importantly I need legal advice. I'm really really worried about the situation (he could try to present himself as the primary caregiver and me end up paying him CM and that would kill me). I need a good lawyer and a game plan

Any tips for keeping the peace when you know it's over and despise him?

I suggested relationship counselling first. He refused so the next step was separation, then divorce. He actually suggested the separation then divorce out of exasperation that I was no longer just rolling over and agreeing with him on everything.

We are living in the same house at the mo. The difficulty is avoiding full on rows as we need to discuss finances. We ended up having half a row about the house this morning. I just refused to argue back but he couldn’t stop himself ranting and has now gone off in a huff.

It is very difficult, because the reasons that make them hard to live with, are the same reasons that make them hard to separate from.

You need to focus on the end point - you and your Dc, on your own.

Wait until you are feeling better, speak to a solicitor, then work out your strategy.

In the meantime, be grey rock and don’t react to him. Hard I know.

Its so hard isn't it? How old are your DC?

I'm trying to grey rock (that just means keeping communication to a minimum right?) But it really winds him up. He thinks I'm causing the issues. I just want him to leave me alone.