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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Told sort of bf I loved him. Silence

17 replies

Annabananna1 · 02/08/2022 10:33

Have NC as I might be over thinking this and not want it linked to my usual name. Regular poster.

Started dating someone in March. We met up once a week for 3 months. Then stopped speaking for 3 weeks following a disagreement, it was silly. We then started speaking again but waited a few weeks to actually meet up as we were both unsure what we wanted out of it.

We went out last night, he was all over me. I'd really missed him. He told me he loved me when we began speaking again and said he'd missed me a lot and wanted me in his life. He repeated it last night and said he knew we'd fall in love from the first date. I said it back at the end of the night (not sure I actually do love him, I'd had 3 glasses of wine).

I sent him a goodnight text when I got home. It's 10.30am and he hasn't even opened it let alone replied.

I'm an idiot aren't I. Have I been played?
I think he just wanted to know he could still have me if he wanted me and now has lost interest. I'm feel a bit sick

OP posts:

butterflied · 02/08/2022 10:36

Yeah, sorry, that's shit. But it sounds like you've been played. Luckily, you're not sure you actually love him, so I'd dust myself off if I were you and move on from him.

chilledbubble · 02/08/2022 10:38

Is he hungover and asleep still?

mamabeeboo · 02/08/2022 10:39

I'd just wait until he opens and replies to the message, and carry on. If he doesn't then, you have your answer. Don't worry OP, his loss.

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 02/08/2022 10:58

Maybe he's still asleep, or slept in and is now busy? Give him some time

Letussee · 02/08/2022 11:04

Actually, after five months if you’ve not felt that much and you now feel sick about saying it, I’d leave. I doubt you’ll feel much more in the future since this is the “honeymoon period”. Unless you’re going out with him for practical reasons (eg he earns well/you want to get married shortly etc!) and you want it to develop! But then I’m probably a bit weird. Any flings where I didn’t care about the person only lasted a couple of weeks, and anything over a month got serious… and I didn’t do any practical planning (tho maybe i should have!)

Ihatethenewlook · 02/08/2022 11:06

This sounds like a really shit start to a relationship op. And this is just the beginning. What disagreement was so bad to warrant not speaking for 3 weeks? Imagine being in a proper relationship with this man

Algbu6 · 02/08/2022 11:11

Once you stopped speaking who reached out you or him?

Agree he could be sleeping. You need to have a serious talk (no alcohol) about what your both looking for.

1982mommaof4 · 02/08/2022 11:12

Has he replied OP? He could just be sleeping try not to worry

PeppaPigIsAnnoying · 02/08/2022 11:17

Sounds like you'd both been drinking a lot of alcohol

seaUrchinOne · 02/08/2022 11:21

In my experience it's not a good sign not to hear back quickly. I guess it would be better judged if he still hasn't replied by this evening.

I did the same stupid thing this weekend, said all the right stuff, spent the night together, then he blocked me when he got home. At least I know, still feels rubbish though.

ipswi · 02/08/2022 12:04

If you fell out for 3 weeks and didn't see each other then he got back in touch but didn't want to meet up straight away as he didn't know what he wanted, it's unlikely he was then in love with you.

How can he go from not knowing what he wants to the next time he sees you he's in love??

Sorry if I sound harsh but just being realistic. Could it be he just wanted to get you into bed?

Original poster

Annabananna1 · 02/08/2022 14:04

Could it be he just wanted to get you into bed?

Yes. Could have been. We didn't go home together.
He certainly had all nice things to say last night.

Still no reply but mine has now been read

OP posts:

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 03/08/2022 18:19

Any update OP?

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 03/08/2022 18:30

I sent my boyfriend of 6 months a 7 page handwritten love letter through the post. As soon as I posted it I started panicking at whether it was too soppy and what he would say, he didn't mention it for a couple of days so I didn't know if he had it. When he did mention it, he said he had been really pleased to receive it and had been trying to work out whether to write back, or to call me. So your man could just be thinking. It doesn't always happen that delay is bad.

Original poster

Annabananna1 · 03/08/2022 21:05

Yes, a few messages back and forth last night. Nothing today. So I'm left hanging again. I hate this feeling

OP posts:

Mamato3boysand2dogs · 03/08/2022 21:40

His silence tells you all you need to know here. He will do this as many times as you let him.

Don't let him. Dust yourself off, we've all experienced these guys... learn and move on. Xx

Aprilx · 03/08/2022 21:46

Never mind. This is going nowhere, in barely five months you have had three weeks of not speaking and six weeks of not seeing each other (through choice). This is not how good relationships start and neither of you are in love.

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