Getting pregnant after a few weeks dating

[Tupperty]

I’ve NC as this is inspired by the couple of threads recently about 38 and ttc. One where a poster suggested a ONS.

Has anyone ever just tried to go for it a few dates in? Ie no condoms and it happened? I ask because two friends and one colleagues became pregnant in the last year with men they had known for a matter of weeks. They’re all almost forty. Only one is still with the man.

Being honest myself, I think about it a lot. I don’t rush into sex though so can’t see myself doing it. It’s very hard though at this age.

Such a life changing decision to just 'go with it' I mean I definitely wouldn't as I like stability which I think gets diluted when you have a child with someone on a ONS. I understand that it happens a lot, but surely it happens as a surprise rather than planned? Maybe people say it was planned to take away the embarrassment?

I think that would be insanity. You're either linking yourself to pretty much a stranger for life, or dooming your kid to never know their other parent. And they could be anyone, complete psycho or whatever.

I think you'd have to be out of your mind to do this.

Also, you might not get a baby. You might get monkeypox or HIV or syphilis instead.

I think buying sperm would be a lot simpler and less likely to blow up in your face.

Would this be with the knowledge of the chap? Obviously all sex carries a risk of pregnancy but it’s a dick move to mislead someone (eg by pretending to be on the pill). And given that genes do at least play a part a child’s characteristics, it’s a bad idea to have the baby of someone you know nothing about.

Better to go to the sperm bank.

So would the man know in this scenario or is the woman pretending to be on the pill? I can't imagine many men being up for a kid after a few weeks dating. If he knows and the woman is prepared to single parent, I don't see a problem!Not much different to donation as long as everyone is clear where they stand.

I know a few people who have got pg very quickly. Some more than once. Now they just moan about how shit their dcs fathers are.

I wouldn't do it personally.

Not sure exactly how it would work but i just suspect it must happen when people are late thirties and suddenly pregnant with new people? It seems to happen a lot

I’m sceptical that women that take this route are not always doing it with the men’s full consent.

im also sceptical that it’s for CMS payments further down the line, which you wouldn’t get with sperm donation.

all in all, a bad idea.

If the man knows its unprotected then he's basically accepting a child may be conceived. However I think its a risky thing to do as you don't know what they are like or anything like that and they could claim 50/50

Well a few dates in… unless you lie about being on contraceptives I’d be very wary of a guy who just happily goes for it without a condom. Even guys who aren’t that worried about STDs would at least pull out.
Have you even thought about STDs? I guess no.
Honestly, we try and drill common sense safe sex into teenagers brains and then you have 30 somethings with ideas like this in their heads.
I think if you genuinely think this is a good thing to do then you are not responsible enough to be a parent.

WTAF!!!! Have you not heard of STD’s. HIV, Hepatitis etc.

How do women get to your age and your friends ages and not get it. Just goes to show with some, age and maturity are not correlated.

My friend did this - the man claimed she had said she was on the pill, she says she didn't say either way but she did want to have a baby. He said he wasn't interested in being a father and has had no involvement in her son's life since ( her son is now 6). He's not on the birth certificate and has never paid maintenance. It's really hard for her and she Carries a lot of guilt about it although she doesn't regret her son at all.

That’s bloody unfair on the man and the child.

Absolutely.

Exposing yourself to STDs by having unprotected sex with a man stupid enough to want it is madness.

If you want to get pregnant then do it properly. Having a random shag with a stranger is stupid, dangerous, very selfish to a potential child resulting from it.

To do this would be insanity. You don’t know the man’s sexual history, what he is really like -guy could be a psycho and you would be linked with him for life. Also STDs risk. If he is willing to have u protected with you so easily, you can guarantee that sausage has been around the block. Just grim.

It's quite easy, most men won't ask if you're on any birth control, they assume you have sorted it, it's not their body and they can easily walk away if they want to.
Not that I have ons but even men I've been exclusive with don't bring up the topic of protection.

Contraception can fail, only safe way to ensure you don't fall pregnant is no sex.

Oh Jesus no, the main reason being some men are absolute arseholes and you do not want to be linked to that person for life!!!!

I mean there are lots of reasons why I don’t think it’s a great idea but that’s the key one - it’s bad enough being forever linked to a fucktard when you’ve consciously made the decision to have a relationship over a period of time. But being linked to someone you don’t even know, forever….. it’s screams nightmare doesn’t it.

I get it because I was 35 and single and very much wanting a family and it wasn’t happening so I totally see why - I never considered ons or causal sex to try and make it happen, I was considering a donor.

although donor doesn’t come without it’s issues for sure but I can’t imagine it’s quite as complex as 18 years of some twunt you don’t know from Adam, now intrinsically linked to you with free access to your (shared) child.

Doesn’t sound like a decision made for the benefit of the resulting child to me.

Tying yourself to a man who would have unprotected sex early in a relationship is pretty horrifying.

Sperm banks exist and provide a safe pathway to motherhood without a legal link to a man who lacks critical thinking skills.

Yes I agree.