Terrible Sex Life

[user182022]

I’m a regular poster but NC for this as I feel embarrassed.

DH and I have ended up in a sexless marriage. I can’t even remember the last time, maybe about a year ago.

I don’t want to have sex with him. At all. I love him and the rest of our marriage is good and I desperately miss sex (in general - not with him) but I just can’t stand him touching me and I don’t know what to do to fix it.

We kiss (peck on the lips) and cuddle and are affectionate and I like doing that but that’s it. No kids and we’re only late 30s and been together for about 20 years.

Has anyone overcome something like this before? DH really is missing it and I don’t want him to cheat and I never would but I’m worried what this says about our marriage that I feel like this.

How much foreplay are you doing incidentally ... It's supposedly a min of 20 mins for a female to be likely to orgasm.

With the best will in the world he may not be there to have the IVF procedure next year. You need to figure a few things out before you enter that arena as you know you will need yourself in the best mental/emotional state to support each other through it.

So do you want to stay married? If you do then you need to understand a sexless marriage would need his consent and agreement.

When you have the above figured out then start ruling out the reasoning behind the issue organise a check up to rule out physical/ hormonal issues then move onto psychological - the TTC can impact on people a lot.

Hopefully you will find your answers and it will make life a little easier for you.