How to leave? Need a plan.

[Jewel7]

After many years of struggling in a toxic relationship. I have realised I am unhappy, disrespected and hurt amongst other things.
For those of you that have left/ended relationships what did you do first.
He knows we aren’t in a good place.
Im concerned he will make it into a massive drama. Any tips?
Plus any practical solutions I can do also?
We rent our home privately and have school aged children.
I want it to be as calm as possible for the sake of our children ideally.

I suggested relationship counselling first. Didn’t think it would do any good, but that seemed less drastic than saying I wanted to leave.

I said it was my line in the sand, it he didn’t want to go for counselling (he didn’t), it sort of became his decision to separate, which he actually did.

I would have been happy to see someone with him, because I was pretty sure he wouldn’t take well to hearing some home truths and would never accept that he was to blame for anything.

Safety is your first concern. Is he likely to become violent if he knows you are planning to leave? Mine was violent so I applied for jobs a minimum of 100 miles away. Got a job, rented a flat ( unseen) and when he’d gone to work I threw all I could in the car and drove off. But we didn’t have children.
Could you rent somewhere on your own? If you could that would be a place to start.
Work out what money you’d have, benefits you could claim, any assets you would split.