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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Lone parent and dating again

29 replies

BiscoffSundae · 31/07/2022 21:50

Is it possible to date again as a lone parent (so kids with you 24/7 no other parent) any stories of hope? Starting to think it’s not possible. Anyone been in this situation and made it work?

OP posts:

Original poster

BiscoffSundae · 02/08/2022 00:23

Musttryharder2021 · 02/08/2022 00:17

It depends, some women decide to move a man in asap so that way they get to have a "relationship". It depends how badly you want a relationship, if you want it really badly I guess you'd be prioritising yourself and not your children.

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Definitely not intending to do that I’ve lived alone for so long I can’t imagine someone in my space like that that would take a long time before I considered that

OP posts:

touchedout2022 · 03/08/2022 17:48

BiscoffSundae · 02/08/2022 00:10

That’s the thing it’s easy to say wait 6m to a year if your ex has the kids half the time I’m sure that’s very doable but those that are with them 24/7 not possible, am I expected to give up until my kids are in their teens?!

Not necessarily, you could a few hours in the evening when the kids are in bed . It's summer now so bright until late . You could have a few hours in the garden as a date ?

It's really if you want to make it work . There is no set rule because what works for a SM with shared custody l/help from family will not work for a SM with no father /no other other .

As a mother you have got very strong instincts so as long as you trust it and don't dismiss it , you won't go far wrong

Original poster

BiscoffSundae · 03/08/2022 19:02

I mean generally if your children are with you 24/7 you will probably end up introducing them to someone quicker than if your children spend a lot of time with the other parent as it will be easier to keep the two separate I don’t want someone that just comes over late at night when my kids are in bed as that screams fwb to me.

OP posts:

Treezylover · 03/08/2022 21:24

Mumsnetters seem on the whole to think that meeting kids early on is unforgivable, but my kids, 14 and 10 so older, have known about every date I’ve been on, and met people I’ve dated really early on. Not only is it massively important to me to see how someone handles the reality of my chaos, but how they respond to someone is huge too. Also, I read a book called the Kickass single mom when I left my ex, and it introduced a really healthy approach to dating to me. I am really happy with my kids learning about relationships both starting and ending, why I would end something, my expectations, and healthy relationships in general. I don’t think as they get older there will be the focus on marriage in the same way as there was for my generation, and I want them to know that ending a relationship isn’t always the worst thing in the world.

also, you matter, and your happiness matters, and matters more than you will realise to your kids. Do whatever you can to go on dates with no pressure, just to see how it feels, but I think these societal expectations around introductions aren’t always necessary.

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