Hand held please! Abusive homeless ex.

[Justmeandme19]

O God I don't know here to start!!
I'm going to try and be a bit evasive to avoid giving away my identity.
But long story short. My ex husband, father of my 2 primary school children hasn't seen the children for 2 years. This came after many many many court hearings when a civil court order was granted, stipulating there is to be no contact. He has a history or abuse towards the children, me, his last girlfriend etc etc etc. He is also a drug used.
I am aware he became homeless several months ago, he has now turned up in my home town, he is busking in the centre of town. If I went to down as I often do, I would probably bump into him. I'm really not sure how to handle this situation as it will be distressful for the children. He has no other reason to be here, except for us.
Do I tell the children and just get on with life, but allow them to just say hello to him in town quick chat and then move on?
What the heck do I do? How do I safeguard my children ? How do I safeguard myself (he has previously threatened to kill me).?? Any advise anyone

If he is busking in town he will need a permit. Contact the council anonymously and tell them there is a homeless man who is busking. They will move him on.

Again thank you all for your advise.
I've spoken to the police control room a couple of times. As to be expected they carn't do anything atm as he hasn't committed a crime. But they are aware of him and his movements. The local police are also aware of the situation.
So I'm going to lay low with the children for a bit, keep out of town. If he's still around by the end of the summer holidays when their clubs start back up then I will have have inform the children and carry on as per normal. I know he will cause is problems if we see him and I'm pretty sure he will recognise the children.
My guts tell me that sooner or later he will move on, that he will ruffle feathers /be anti social. Regardless he has no sticking power so it's not a forever thing.

To answer someone's question. The children miss him and are despite to see him. One of them calls him an idiot, but I know I'm my heart that they both just miss him, they are also very confused by him. I think they would recognise him and want to chat to him and possibly by him food. They are only young, their reaction is completely normal.

I'm really unsure if I'm doing the right thing not telling the children. They were upset when I had all the court hearing and weren't aware of it. I think they felt distrust towards me. Well I'm worrying their feel the same about me not telling them their father is in town.
It's such a tricky situation to navigate.

Can you avoid the town centre (shop in another town/have things delivered)?

I can avoid the town centre for a few weeks/month. But when the children go back to their activity this won't be possible.
I just feel completely torn with how to handle it. Do I tell the children so their not upset with me for not telling them. As when I went to all the court hearing and didn't tell them they thought of it as lieing to them.
I hate feeling as if I'm being dishonest with them. 😥.
This is hard it really is. Struggling with feelings of anxiety and worry. I have only just stopped taking antidepressants due to all the court stuff. Then this.

So a bit of an update. He's gone to my old address looking for us!! . He's also been in town busking and drinking alcohol. My gut tells me this will get resolved somehow as this can not continue. I'm beginning to feel storked by him!
I feel as if it's a matter of time before he finds out where we live.
Trying to take a deep breath and not worry too much .

He's threatened to kill you. He's abusive and dangerous. He's actively trying to track you down. Go to womens aid and the police again.
Tell your children that their dad is dangerous and in the local area and they are not to go with him under circumstances.

Can you move out of the local area?

No I won't be moving. If he's that intent he will only find us regardless.
I have contacted the police , they were pretty useless.

With all due respect, why can’t you avoid the street he is on?

ive lived in many cities, the centres are certainly big enough to avoid certain streets and heaps of different ways to get to one destination- plus you have the advantage of hearing his voice

i personally would not alert the children that he was back

i would however tell all schools, clubs about your situation and advise that he is not to collect them in no uncertain terms

in a way if he does approach it might give you the ammo for a non mol

I think if your children are old enough to be out on their own then they need to be aware for their own safety. If they are not I would not mention it for now. You can always act surprised to see him if you bump into him.

Hopefully he goes away or gets moved on soon OP.

Because it's a small town.

So sorry OP but please do keep updating the police