If your ex said they never wanted to meet their child, did they ever reappear and change their mind?

[Realag]

Just that. I’m in a new relationship now, have been for 18 months and DC seems to see him as his father figure (he’s only 2!). Me and DP were friends for ten heats before we got together.

I am worried ex will pop up and confuse DC. My partner is also quite attached to him and whilst he obviously wouldn’t say anything if ex came back on the scene, I know it worries him too about the nice dynamic we have changing.

No it’s not. My DD 1 st born has never had any contact or support ever. I notified him of the birth and her name dob etc and he said he wanted a dna test and then it stopped all contact stopped And I never asked for csa. When I married my new DH wanted to adopt her - we thought this would be simple he wasn’t on the BC. But no after going to a solicitor we were told he would be contacted to asked if he consented etc despite not being named on the BC or involved that I would have to give his name and dob etc to the court to trace. Sounded ridiculous to me but I didn’t want him
saying no to me or kicking up a fuss so I left it.

this was 10 years ago so I would check the advice given to me though

There's no guarantees in life your current partner is not the bio dad and he also COULD leave you in 5 years time.

I think as your baby is so young it's very very possible he will return. Men come and go. It's nice you have moved on but I don't agree with rushing to make your current partner "dad" he isn't!

With adoption, surely if the father is not named on the birth cert and no incoming maintenance you could lie and say the child was the product of a one night stand and you do not know the person? I mean if they are not actually on the cert or anything surely this could work? I dont know, my ex is not on dc cert but I am not looking to remarry or have anyone adopt either just something that went through my head.

I strongly agree though that your child needs to know this daddy is not the bio daddy. It will help you in years to come.

I do think him paying cs might muddy the waters, in that it prevents you denying that he is the father and claiming that the dad is not known to you. Which is why I'd clarify with legal advice before doing anything

If you are caught lying though - it doesn’t bare thinking about and just why lie on court papers. She lies, ex turns up - all hell breaks loose and she could end up losing custody as it show she was a liar.

just don’t do it

My exh rocked up when DS was 18 having not ever paid CMA. DS told him to foxtrot Oscar off. Ex keeps writing to offer him "life advice" and DS now 40 says its driving him nuts.

My dd dad has dipped in and out and offered nothing.

Been with her step dad since she was two. She's 9 now and calls her dad by his name not dad and calls my DH dad. Her choice. With no prompting.

I'm not against it. I'm a step child also.

My mum met my "dad" at the same age. He's my dad. I'm 43. If my biological dad popped up now I'd only see him if he was dying because I'm a soft touch and I think he should pass peacefully but I wouldn't want to bond with him or whatever you call it these days.

My dad is my dad who raised me. Not the one who made me. My dad is my dad. Not some fucker who made me, didn't support my mum, didn't bother with me and I really hope doesn't pop up at any point. After being a single parent myself with a dick for a parent for my Dd I don't want him in my life.

How could he do that to my mum and me. Selfish. Same as my Dd dad. Selfish.