People who have affairs

[QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat]

Do they become complete self obsessed bores? I've been thinking about this for a few weeks, I met my friend who said she was having a few issues in her relationship and I am having a hard time so we met up for a few drinks.

Turns out her few issues were that she was having an affair. I don't condone cheating at all but she's my friend so I listened to her without judgement but she didn't even ask how I was, we spent the whole night talking about how great the OM was and how her DP has always been awful, I didn't even get a word in edgeways.

I obviously I have advice around leaving her DP, not to rewrite history etc. but I'm still so annoyed that we talked for 4 hours about her and as we were leaving the bar she asked about me and I just said it's been really hard (it's fairly serious issues I've been through) and started explaining but she just said 'got to go, see you soon'.

I'm just venting really. I didn't want to spend the evening dwelling on my issues but even an acknowledgment would have sufficed.

No, although you’ll get the one sided view on MN
life is not black and white

sometImes when I meet friends the conversation is all about them, other times perhaps me. Depends on what’s going on at the time.

if you had wanted to talk about anything you should have steered the conversation to it

kerp making your generalisations though

Thing is, I tried several times. My issues are very here and now and I didn't get a chance to even talk about it, I was happy to listen to her but her affair literally dominated the whole evening.

She is not usually like this, she is a great friend hence I wondered if it was common in affairs to become self absorbed.

Yup I think it is pretty common as having an affair is essentially selfish in itself.

Yes definitely...people in the midst of affairs are utterly hooked as it's all about obsessive fairy la la land. Also they only tell a few people and so, when they see them, they feel it's their chance to talk boringly, repetetively and endlessly about the affair to try to convince themselves it's a real relationship. Which, of course, it isn't. I hope you are ok OP as I assume your challenges are less self inflicted than your friend's. Hopefully she will stop behaving like a love struck 12 year old soon and be decent company again!