Can someone give me some advice.

[wingliner]

I have been in a same sex relationship for nearly 10 years now.
I have been with both men and women, but find long term relationships much easier with women.

The relationship I am in at the moment is my longest.
We get on.
We have lots in common.
We have a number of hobbies they we do one on own or together.
We see our mutual friends and our own friends.
We don't work together which helps keep our individuality.
We are always laughing.
Enjoy trips about and holidays.
But we don't have sex.....

Very often.
It seems v shallow of me to throw it all away because we don't have sex.

Any help or thoughts we would appreciated.

Have you discussed this with your partner? Is she aware of your expectations and is this a recent thing or have your libidos always been at odds?

Wanting an active, satisfying sex life is not shallow. Stop gaslighting yourself.

You can have a wonderful relationship with someone on many different levels, but that still doesn't mean it can work.

@FormAnOrderlyQueue
I have brought it up several times, she has promised to make more of an effort etc but nothing ever changes.

It hasn't always been mismatched.
It was fine in the beginning and the middle. Our libidos were pretty well matched.

@Aquamarine1029

I received some of your message but not all.

Gaslighting myself?
Some days I think I am being shallow but then others I think I deserve a good sex life......
it's human nature to want sex.

Of course you deserve a good sex life. You are gaslighting yourself when you make yourself feel guilty for thinking that way.

This is what I wrote...

"You can have a wonderful relationship with someone on many different levels, but that still doesn't mean it can work."

@Aquamarine1029 thank you so much