When a friend just cuts you out?

[tvod2244]

Just that really.
What I thought was a dear friend.
Our friendship had been amazing, we spoke all the time about the highs and the lows of life - and the random rubbish in between!
We had a spontaneous party together last weekend eating/drinking/dancing/watching chick-flicks at my house last weekend and even did our own little DIY spa-day.
I have barely heard from her since we parted on Saturday evening.
Texts have gone ignored - at best I have had short, snappy replies.
Passing in the street I have been blanked.
I cannot fathom what has happened, or why :(

We both have boyfriend's who also get on very well together, my BF has not heard from her's all week either.
We have been close friends for c.18 months.

What could have happened here?? I feel like I am being friend-ghosted 😔

She's clearly upset with you. Maybe you said something she deemed to be out of line?
Have you asked her directly why she has checked out?

Maybe your bfs have had a falling out and she's just being snippy with you because she's taking her boyfriends side on whatever it is?

Ask her?

Just ask her if she is your friend. Dont let it fester longer, just deal with it now.

Have your friend style love bombed her and been a bit intense- did you say anything like we should do this EVERY weekend ?

I would say something along the lines of 'I might be wrong but I feel like you're avoiding me and I want you to know I'm here to talk if you feel like I've done something that's hurt you. I don't want to make a nuisance of myself so I will leave the door open if you want to talk. Take care x'

Then you've dealt with it like an adult and can be at peace that you've tried to sort things out.

Most of our hangout-styles have been her idea.
She was new to the area and said she wanted to make a conscious effort to socialise and make new friends as (she said) she had often struggled making and maintaining friendships in the past.
I always enjoyed her company and we would do a range of things like go out for coffee, a quick walk around the block after work, movie-days-in when the BF's were working etc. It is all very sudden and bizarre

Just ask her. A ‘have I done something to upset you’ should do it.

This has happened to me not so long ago and I've know this friend for over 35 years! Again short replies or has taken ages to reply, I've recently asked her what is going on and have had no reply. The ball is in her court and nothing else I can do but just get on with my own life. I hope you have better luck than me.

She struggles maintaining friendships. Maybe it's just how she is

This happened to my DH. He has no idea to this day why. I think it's pretty awful to just cut someone out without an explanation unless there is a very clear need to (such as an abusive partner).

But it's only been a week!

There was a similar post to this recently. My guess and that's all it could be of course is that your friendship is too intense. You spend a lot of time together just the two of you and there is a lot of texting as well. I just cannot imagine it tbh. It'd feel like a job, to have to text somebody that much.

I wouldn't assume you've been completely ghosted yet. Is it possible she's trying to take the friendship down a gear?

Do nothing for now. Maybe in a few weeks text her and say ''I feel like maybe we've crowded each other but I'd still value a less involved friendship'''.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago. Was not working at the time and chatted to another mum somewhere or other. She invited me to her home for coffee, she came to mine. And suddenly she seemed to put our acquaintance on speed text and wanted to meet every second day. It stressed me out so much. I’m not proud but I started to say I was busy and left long days before replying.

She stopped contacting me after a few weeks but now I see her regularly and always feel embarrassed

This once happened to me with a best friend I'd had for 10 years...eventually she reinitiated contact but I can't trust her to do it again so the closeness has been lost. Apparently she was offended by something I'd said, but rather than talk it through like an adult she decided to ghost me instead.

I'd suggest you send her a text for your own sake asking her if there's an issue. If she doesn't reply or is evasive, then just take it on the chin and accept that she's too emotionally immature to salvage the friendship.