To be honest i think it has for a while but things have definitely come to a head.
For context my H has always liked a drink, in the early stages it was a lot, to the point I wouldn’t come home from work and instead stay with a friend as to avoid him.
Over the last 3 years I have found him messaging two women, the first being someone I know very well and the second a woman with whom he is online friends with due to a mutual hobby. Each time I have taken him back and he has done/said all the right things and every time it just goes back to the same old routine and he makes no effort whatsoever.
we both work ft, me days, him nights. We have DS (10) who he takes to school 2 days and does pickup everyday. He says he is tired all the time and I get that, I’ve asked him to consider working days (he’s been offered a great shift pattern). I’ve offered to change my hours at work so I can do pick up, offered to pay for after school club and/or my mum has offered to collect him so he can have more sleep and each time he refuses. I’m not sure what else I can do.
we have had some issues with him saying he didn’t want to have sex for 2 years as I’d put on weight (size 16 for context) to which I was obviously very hurt, I’ve always been curvy 12-14 so not an huge difference. He always seems to find a way to put me down.
yesterday I was at work, DS was with my mum for the day and H came home from work at 7am and started drinking. He text me around 10am asking where an item was in the house. I replied that I didn’t know and it had been mislaid. He then told me that he was fed up of not being able to find anything, I was a slob and didn’t put anything away properly. He went onto say that I didn’t clean and cook and he did everything around the house and childcare etc. he was fed up with me rejecting him for sex (bearing in mind he is pawing at me while I’m trying to cook dinner) etc etc.
for context I do all the cooking m/f for us and the weekend, he seems to think by ordering takeaway that he’s cooked a meal! Every night when I get home from work I clean the bathrooms, put a wash on, general tidying. Sometimes like most of us I don’t sit down until gone 8pm.
he also text me the other week, calling me a c*nt as I hadn’t put the washing machine on for him before work.
I know I have enabled his behaviour by staying with him, I know in my heart this isn’t what I want and I know I deserve better. He won’t change I know that.
not sure what I’m asking here but thank-you if you have read it all.