What do I do?

[Myusername2015]

A very complicated back story here..married for 10 years one child. Relationship was ok until a few years ago when I got acutely ill; hospitalised for a long time and had to leave my job. The crux of the problem is my weight gain; I’m on long term steroids and I’ve put on a lot of weight..size 10 to 18 in two years. My husband hates this and our relationship now is simply housemates; we haven’t had any type of affection even hand holding in months. He seems to think everything will just go back to normal when I lose the weight but I feel completely broken by the last few years and just can’t seem to get my head in any weight loss game. Financially I can only work part time now less health wise; my husband out earns me 6 x and we have completely separate finances (I’m not on the mortgage) our son is settled in private school that I couldn’t afford at all by myself and I feel completely stuck. Deep down I think I know my husband probably doesn’t love me but I’m so scared of what the alternative is..I’m 40; disabled and so sad with life. I understand no one has any obligation to find a larger body type attractive and I should just let him go shouldn’t I.

Yeah.. let him go. He sounds like a shallow little coward and you can do so much better! You didn’t ASK to put on weight, steroids can cause weight gain. Don’t lose weight for him, if you want to lose weight, do it for you. Christ, my partner gained over 2 stone and I never once sat there and felt repulsed or avoided being intimate/affectionate with him. He sounds like an ass. X

IS it actually your weight gain or the low self confidence, the illness, the mental health and lack of intimacy? Because sometimes the biggest turn off is hearing someone constantly moan about their size, negative about their looks, becomes neglectful in their appearance and avoids physical intimacy rather than they are genuinely behaving like before just a bigger size.
You could divorce or you could give him the green light for an affair. Speak to him and see what he wants but I personally wouldn't make a major life decision based on something so changeable such as weight and when I'm feeling, in your words, 'sad with life'. Believe me, you'd be even sadder with life if you were poor on top of everything else.
Use the fact he has money to your benefit, get therapy, get cleaner, get a new wardrobe, get a bootcamp or weight loss surgery. You don't have to hit the nuclear button just yet.