Dating / married to someone with Asperger's Syndrome

[whitebunnies]

Is anyone dating or married to a man with Asperger's Syndrome? I have met a nice man but people have said it would be difficult to have a relationship with him based on his condition. I dont believe in writing someone off but want to know what life would be like before getting involved with him.

I have asd (aspergers syndrome). Been with my husband 9 years and he is happy.

I dont believe in writing someone off but want to know what life would be like before getting involved with him.

We are not all the same, HTH.

(Autistic woman)

Very good point, thanks. I know it will vary from each person.

Totally depends how well they manage their difficulties and your understanding of the ins and outs of it.

I’m autistic and have been married for 22 years. I’ve had no complaints.

Autistic lesbian here with a happy wife.

You've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. Don't write him off.

I think my DH is likely autistic (undiagnosed) but our son is. He is wonderful and we've been together for 12 years. Very much in love.

My boyfriend has ADHD and suspected ASD. We don't live together and probably never will - he's lovely and fun to be with, I love him to bits. His impulsivity can make him overly generous to his own detriment (he bought me a ring 5 days after we started chatting) and I worry he would be irresponsible with money if we lived together or married. But living apart as a couple is great.

So because of a single person you'd rule out anyone with autism?

If you’ve met one person with autism… you’ve met one person with autism. How on earth can anyone have any idea if this man will be difficult to have a relationships with?

OH FFS!!! REALLY OP? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Pros - honest, won't play games, quite low maintenance
cons - takes some extra work to get to know them and figure out what works

& no definitely not all the same. Married for 25 years my hubby thinks I'm worth it.

@FrancescaContini
Most autistics, probably feel the same about you!! 👍

Just to highlight that many autistic people reach adulthood with no diagnosis and have jobs, relationships, families etc.

I think you just have to see how things go and be open minded, OP. Ask him how being autistic affects him, it’s a spectrum and we are all different. There can be all manner of issues in any relationship that have nothing to do with neurodiversity.

I’m autistic and my husband too.Both hold down responsible jobs and have a family. We aren’t society’s write-offs.

I'm autistic (only diagnosed a few years ago) and have been with my partner for almost 30 years.
Some of my annoying traits we now know are down to the autism but they can't be too bad because we're still together and still happy.

I'm pretty sure that my Dad was autistic and I inherited it from him. He died a few weeks before my diagnosis so I was never able to raise the subject with him. My mum and dad had a very long and happy marriage and she still misses him greatly.

This.

From a woman with Aspergers (and ADHD for good measure!) who has been happily in a relationship for for fifteen years, has two children and is perfectly fit for society

Just to highlight that many autistic people reach adulthood with no diagnosis and have jobs, relationships, families etc.

I would like to highlight that this won't be something we see commonly in the future because there is so much more knowledge now. Less and less children are falling through the cracks and the majority will be assessed at a young age. There is no way I would not have been assessed as a child if I were in school now. People reaching adulthood without a diagnosis is an absolute failing, not a 'well done' have a pat on the back for the autistic person.

Husband has autism (Asperger's) we have been together since teenagers - pre diagnosis for him. We are married with children. Definitely the best person for me!
Wouldn't change his autism for the world.
In some ways it makes our relationship far less complicated, he's very straight talking, emotion is often left out which helps with decision making.
Sometimes it's hard, him not understanding his own emotions, can be impulsive, tunnel vision. But I think all relationships have struggles, and we're lucky that autism is a well known subject which means support us at our finger tips with Google.

So yeah definitely hasn't put me off him. I also think it's important to get to know your partner, autism isn't a one size fits all. It's a spectrum for a reason. One persons 'I'd never date them due to x y x' could just be that person is a dick.

Did you give him a chance op?