Just taken it out on kids and feel awful.......

[warmsummersday]

Hi. I have had PND since DD2 was born 17 months ago. Slowly coming off the meds. Been to a friends tonight for dinner, she has said something to upset me but didn't let on and left and got the kids to bed. DD1 was annoying me and I closed the bedroom door to her which realy upset her. I now feel awful and am in tears.

OH works away in week and is due back tonight. He told DD on the phone he doesn't have anyone to see at the weekend as he is always spending time away from us at the weekend. I text him tonight to say I have a hair appointment tomorrow and he text back saying he has to see the bank accountant but will be back in time. I think this is why I am so stressed because he told DD he didn't have anyone to see.

DD is now saying nasty thing about her Dad and telling her friends her dad is moody (which he is) but htis is scary for me.

I feel awful. Any advice? She is now in my bed waiting for me as I said I will cuddle her later.

Go and give her a cuddle now and forget about what your friend said. Your oh will be back soon, tell him you've had a horrible day and you need some tlc.

Thanks Lazarou, she is asleep in my bed and will give her a cuddle when I go to bed.

I can't believe I did this

Put it behind you, and get some rest.

Get into bed now and have your cuddle before she falls asleep - you will both feel so much better xx

Don't worry too much about what happened tonight - you can fix it with an apology and some love. (Most of us have been there btw) You are carrying the weight of all your other worries alongside this which of course DD1 won't realise or be feeling - which is good. Perhaps you need to think about whatever your friend said to upset you and whether you want to discuss this with her at another time.

(What does the 'O' stand for in 'OH'?)

It's other half isn't it?

Ah! Of course, thanks.

Not sure quite what you meant by "this is scary for me" warmsummer, but hope by now you have gone up for your cuddle. If so, sweet dreams!

Haven't gone up yet.

I just mean that I know he is moody alot of the time and doesn't interact with the kids as much as I would like him to, eg always going off at weekends. DD says he is grumpy and she said to me once she wishes she had someone else as her dad, how would that make you feel?

Reasons for his moodiness? Children can be painfully honest sometimes. Can you talk to him?

Don't know what to say to that WSD. There's no need for you to feel guilty though, you are doing your best.

How are things this morning?

Hi. I am much better this morning thanks. DD is fine and OH has been ok too. Thanks for asking.

Goodness me, you only closed the bedroom door on her. It's not abuse.

You are a human being and you are allowed to have normal emotions. This is fixable. You do not have to maintain utter perfection all the time.

PS if she is old enough to perceive that her dad is moody, she is old enough to perceive that you are upset and didn't mean it.

Glad to hear that. Have a good day.

What colditz said!

Hope you have some luck with OH.

Yes. Also what colditz said!

You sound incredibly stressed. Please give yourself a break! PND can be really debilitating too so give yourself some credit for working through it.