Can I just vent please

[Ignoremeiaminvisible]

I am trying to cope with an 88 year old mother who has been diagnosed with altzheimers and heart failure and is becoming more frail and difficult to deal with, her sister who is 86, never married and living on her own, is constantly attention seeking, there is something every other day!!
My brother lives with my mum but will not, despite constant requests, meet with me to discuss Power of attorney or care packages etc, also does not drive so all appointments etc are left to me.
I am still working, albeit 4 days a week, following a minor stroke, in a self employed professional capacity, and am struggling to cope with all the demands on a day to day basis. I am also struggleing with a very painful hip, which I am slowly getting help with from the GP, and have a stoma from previous bowel cancer (sorry, to much information, as you can tell im feeling sorry for myself)
My husband, whilst being a decent guy, has no interest or ability to cope with running a house, i.e. decorating or repairs and everything is left to me, he will do top up shops, long as I tell him what is needed, but is not capable of thinking independantly.
Thank you to anyone who hears me xx

Hi OP, there is a board Caring for Elderly Parents and you may find some wisdom there if you get your post transferred to that board. It sounds as if you have far too much on your plate and something needs to give. I wonder whether a social services assessment needs to be organised for both ladies. Is a Power of Attorney already in place for your mum? If not, and she has Alzheimer's, I wonder if she has mental capacity to make one now? Age UK is a useful source of information.

@Pantsinthewash
Thank you for responding, my mum has had an assessment but without my brothers consent, as he lives there, my hands are tied, I cannot organise carers to come in or progress anything further.
Yes, I agree, I have too much to deal with, just at a loss to know how to deal with it all, probably just feeling sorry for myself at the moment

Oh gosh that is a lot on one person. Can you apply for POA alone? Your mum will need a lot of care soon. Could it be that your brother is in denial over her care? Or future?

a lot of people seem to be benefiting from you. Meaning your husband seems to be sleepwalking in your marriage specially with all your own health struggles. I am not surprised at all that you are overwhelmed.

Sorry to hear you have so much on your plate at the moment that is an awful lot to deal with.

Why does your brother not want to put arrangements in place? Is it his fear of ultimately being left alone one day? Why cant he see it from your point of you do you think?

Maybe your brother doesn't want your mother going into a care home as he might lose the roof over his head.