DV, I’m working PT = no legal aid to get non mol ?

[Toooldforcrap]

Long story short alcoholic DH has been mentally, emotionally and financially abusive since we got married 3years ago.I have been trying to get my ducks in a row to finish the relationship.
Recently it has escalated where he grabbed me , leaving bruises , was verbally abusive and was threatening to kill himself if I didn’t resume relationship.
I went to advice centre and as a result of what has happened I was deemed high risk and a MARAC meeting was held.
due to the fact that I have a 16yr old at home the police referred to social services. ( I’m wondering if they know something I don’t)

I am a professional working part-time within same directorate. My head of service has been made aware of the referral as my employer has duty of care towards me. I am mortified that my personal life is known but understand it had to happen.

DH had agreed reluctantly to move out to his sister but kept changing when he is going as he doesn’t want the marriage to end.

things escalated at weekend with DH drunk playing loud music waking me up in middle of night claiming he was having mental breakdown , shouting at me , banging his fists on sofa etc. I tried to calm him down but as I wasn’t agreeing to reconcile with him he got more angry and kept saying for me to get him sectioned. The police was called as I didn’t know what else to do , they tried to get him to go to his sisters for the night but he refused eventually after he got angry with the police he agreed to go to a hotel. The police took him there and told him not to contact me.
less than 30 minutes after he’d gone he was contacting me with calls, texts and voicemails calling me a nasty bitch etc until 2am - I reported each time to the police.
the following morning he tried to get back into the house , I was so scared I called the police. The police turned up and I discovered he hadn’t stayed at the hotel but had banged on neighbour door ( who he doesn’t really know) opposite my house and told them I’d locked him out - they let him stay as they didn’t know what had happened. All night I thought we was safe , when in fact he was opposite me is frightening!
the police told me to as much of his belongings and they would give them to him to take to his sisters. Police also managed to get key back.
the problem I now have is that although I have sole tenancy & lived in this house for 11 years before I even met DH he has martial rights to the property.
I can’t get legal aid as it is tested using 3 months income which would obviously include his income - I’m working albeit part time - all the bills including car finance are in my name.
I have been told that in order to possibly get some legal aid I would need to be on universal credit for 3 months but my immediate concern is the occupation order and non mol - apparently I can represent myself in court but have been told that he will be informed of the occupation order and can turn up to court to contest it !
the thought of facing him in court feels me with fear and if he wins I will have to pay his fees !!
how the hell can he win if I have police , social services etc
has anyone had any experience of this or even offer a hand hold as I feel so overwhelmed and alone ?

I’m sorry that you’re going through this. These people may be able to give you some advice through their phone helplines.

rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law/

Unfortunately I’ve tried all the helplines - it is as they say it is !
it just seems so unfair 😭

So sorry for what you are going through OP. This sounds very similar to what was going on for me at the beginning of the year.
I had to get a non-molestation and occupation order because of my estranged husband's behaviour. It is true that the courts do inform about the occupation order as they do not want to make a person homeless, so have to keep the other person in the loop. And, yes, he will be able to contest it if he wants to- but will have to pay to contest this via a solicitor (unless he chooses to do this himself).

I would get a solicitor involved if possible-as the likelihood is that this could get very messy...I know it's costly but better to have the relevant guidance and expertise if you are able to.
My solicitor made an agreement with my estranged husband's solicitor that we each pay our own court fees.

Also- some solicitors firms do a free 30 min consultation session to offer guidance. So worth looking into these. Or you could pay for an hour's consultation and just get the advice you need and try and do it all yourself.

Also, speak to your local domestic violence charity (ask your local social services or Police which charities are best) and the workers there can often help you with completing non-molestation and occupation orders, for free.

Keep a record of any abusive behaviour - of any kind-and log it all with the Police so they have an accurate record of the incidents.

For legal aid means testing, you should be able to explain that the financial situation has now changed and when uploading bank statements, highlight which are your transactions and which are his- to differentiate.

Because you are married, your husband will be able to get a 'property rights order' against the house- which basically stops you selling it/remortgaging it to his disadvantage- so he has to approve it basically..it's frustrating when they aren't on the mortgage/tenancy, but difficult when married and it is their right to do this (even when not on mortgage).

Hang in there OP, things do, and will, get better xx

I was in a similar situation and did not qualify for legal aid due to my income. You can absolutely represent yourself in family court and you can ask for measures like a screen in court and separate waiting areas. It sounds like you have all the evidence you need for a non mol. You can apply for an emergency non mol (ask for this to include your child and home) and occ order. If this is granted ( as I understand it they usually grant the non mol but the occ order may need to wait until they've also heard from him).
There will always be a return hearing approx 2 weeks later where he can put his side forward. If he then wants to contest, it will go for further hearings which can include fact finding. I know this feels scary but you have a lot of evidence and I promise you will find your strength. If you have not done so yet, reach out to Women's Aid.

Have you tried flows.org

Sorry what’s that? Tried googling but not coming up

Thank you for your reply - unfortunately when I did a rough calculation of legal aid contributions with a solicitor it came back as I would need to pay £1000 a month until sorted.
this would mean I wouldn’t have enough money to live on !! I only earn just over that a month myself.
it looks like my only option is to DIY & represent myself - there is a 4 week backlog at the courts in my area which leaves us open to further incidents until then.
it’s really scary how difficult it can be to protect yourself & child.

They are amazing flows.org.uk
they are open today

Sorry -
posted too soon - they can help you with non mol. Amazing charity set up for victims of DA,
connected with Royal Courts of Justice

If you are the sole tenant on the tenancy agreement he does not have any rights. The 50/50 split of assets is only if you own a home. Having the tenancy in your sole name is advantageous to you.
Try the organisations as pps have suggested, but you can represent yourself in court. Make a list of all the times he’s assaulted you, injuries, threats, number of times you’ve called police. Keep all his texts, voicemails etc… Make transcripts of them for the court.
Basically what you want is a list of his drunken, abusive behaviour and it’s consequences ( anything broken, damage to house, injuries) He’ll have nothing in defence.
I know it’s tough, I lived with an alcoholic who threatened to kill me, kill himself etc.. so I know how exhausting and frightening it is but there is an ending. Call the police every time he does something, they’ll eventually have to arrest him.

Try the NCDV they helped me get a non mol. I also didn't qualify for legal aid so you represent yourself, but they helped with the paperwork

You can self refer to them here

www.ncdv.org.uk/non-molestation-order/