Social media. What's acceptable to you?

[greengrease]

For context, I've trust issues that I'm working on from the past and he , partner of two years has given me no reason to doubt his commitment to me thus far.
What's acceptable to
You in sm these days?
Likes for female friends / colleague with no comments ok?
No previous dating history or attraction.

Just saw that partner has liked a post of a selfie of a very attractive colleague. No comments/ emojis etc , just. Simple
Like. Is that ok with you?

If someone's going to cheat, they're going to cheat. Commenting on social media, messaging, leading up to an affair is just the modern method of flirting escalating from normal social interaction. Social media didn't cause the cheating, your ex did that all by himself.

This.

There is no definitive checklist of what is and isn't okay. Everyone has their own individual boundaries when it comes to SM. It's not healthy to monitor and analyse your partner's SM. You have to learn to trust your intuition rather than overthinking his actions.

Based on your updates it really doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about. This isn't about trusting your boyfriend, it's about learning to trust yourself to recognise the signs of cheating when and if they come up. What you're doing at the moment is actively looking for signs of cheating, and you'll just drive yourself crazy that way.

I don't even think I follow my husband on social media. I've never checked. I have no idea what he does on there and don't care. I certainly wouldn't be bothered if he liked an colleagues photo. I think you really neee to chill out about this.

I absolutely hate feeling like this.
It's an anxiety thing I think.
If a suggested page comes up on fb like dating or match. Com( my status is single so I presume they target me) I automatically think he may be on it.
It's illogical. His best friend told me recently that he has told him that I'm the best thing that has ever happened to him.
I feel like I'm trying to catch him
Out . He gives me
No reason to think he would cheat or anything like that.
He did have a few ex dates/ girlfriends on sm when we met but he I friended them
When we got serious.
I have a sick feeling in my stomach sometimes about this.
I thought I was more healed than this.
I hate it.

You don't ALLOW him. Are you this controlling in other areas.

I'd like to see my partner try & ban me from doing something because they didn't like it

"Allow"?! He's a grown man.

I feel like I'm trying to catch him out

Well, that is what you're doing. As I said this has more to do with trusting yourself rather than trusting him. You're worried you're gonna miss the signs again so you're looking for them. Are you currently in therapy? Do you have any coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety?

I thought I was more healed than this.

Healing isn't linear. It's more like one of those crazy loop-the-loop roller coasters. Essentially you've been triggered and it's bringing up past feelings. Don't be too hard on yourself for that, it's a normal part of the healing process, to learn to deal with triggers in a healthy way when they come up.

Perhaps consider some counselling op? It's unfair on him to continue with this behaviour

I'm in therapy and yes you're right it certainly is proving to be anything but
Linear. I'll keep at it

Na I think previous posters are being unfair. It is a selfie why would he like it? What is to like? I mean any other pic fine, but just a selfie? I would find this a tiny bit disrespectful personally.

You are doing the equivalent of sitting back and chucking popcorn in your mouth whilst watching somebody else’s misery on film. I don’t for one moment believe that you truly feel this is “disrespectful”, you’ve just alighted on somebody insecure and vulnerable and want to wind them up and watch them go with worrying that this means their partner fancies somebody else and is going to cheat on them. Fucking despicable.