Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Struggling Struggling by what to think

14 replies

girlwelsh700 · 28/07/2022 09:56

Just opened up my husbands U tube account and started to look at holiday resorts. As I had used it before I went to the search history and shocked what I found. We've been together for 20 years and he has been watching the following videos. How to kiss a woman, how to flirt with young women, how to get women to fancy you, signs she's hitting on you, wife v's mistress the list goes on. Before I approach him just looking for some hand holding and what you would think. What I should ask him without getting upset or going mental. Thanks for your support

OP posts:
booboo24 · 28/07/2022 12:25

Well I'd certainly be thinking what you're thinking, he's clearly got his eye on someone, why else would you search those things. He makes himself sound about 13 mind you.

As for how you handle it, I'd say don't let yourself be fooled by his excuses, as much as you'd like to believe them.....(eg his friend was talking about it, or he was just looking, or his cat walked across the keyboard and must have accidentally caught that page, or the best one..., I've no idea how that got there but i haven't been looking at that) Ask him outright what he's playing at. Or if you have the nerves for it, say nothing, watch very very carefully and wait.

Sorry this is happening, I can't understand why these men can't just behave decently, makes by blood boil

frozendaisy · 28/07/2022 14:43

Start by saying if you need to watch a fucking YouTube tutorial to get "young", how exactly fucking young you sleeze, women to fancy you you clearly haven't got it.

Or the whole of the internet available to you and this is what sad you decides how to spend their time.

And take it from there perhaps?

dfv · 28/07/2022 14:45

Has a child being using his account?

Original poster
girlwelsh700 · 28/07/2022 15:08

Thank you this is a great start and help to me, very grateful

OP posts:
Bookworm20 · 28/07/2022 15:46

I would certainly be thinking the same as you. How long ago were they looked at, can you tell?

Perhaps while logged in you should search for things like: How to tell my husband hes ugly, my husband is bad in bed how do I tell him, my husband has a small penis what can I do to make sex better, how to bury a body under the patio.
And leave the computer open.

Not sure what excuses he will actually come out with, but I think if my DP I'd not even be bothered to hear them. What a prick.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 28/07/2022 18:05

Is his account on autoplay? (it is by default) He may have searched "how to kiss a woman" (for eg) and then the others have just played after. I'd be more interested in his search history (showing intention) than his watch history (which may have been playing while he was doing something else.)

Spinasaurus · 28/07/2022 18:09

Is your husband 12?

I'm curious now to see just how many you tube videos there are on wife vs mistress.

Original poster
girlwelsh700 · 09/08/2022 12:57

So my husband has agreed to all the searches and u tube visits. I asked why and he said he didn't know why. We both agreed it's a form of betrayal. He said he cares about me but doesn't love me and wants to forget about what's happened and work through everything. One of his searches included - what book to buy to impress a lady, all so hurtful. 22 years together is a long time and I have a lot of thinking to do. He's adamant he didn't carry out of of the situations and I've searched all His history which is open. Would you believe him? What would you do in my shoes. Thanks

OP posts:
litterbird · 09/08/2022 13:11

He has told you he cares about you but doesnt love you. Thats all you need to know. He is planning an exit and looking at how to move on by all the searches on the videos. He has been caught out so of course he will knee jerk with everything and try and get you to believe he wants to work it out with you. Its now up to you if you want to be with someone who clearly doesnt love you anymore and is looking elsewhere.

Aikko · 09/08/2022 13:39

Your husband sounds like he has checked out of the relationship sexually, hence all those searches online and him looking for something on the side.
It's not a good look for him.

ipswi · 09/08/2022 20:51

Sounds like he wants to make it work.......while he gets the next woman lined up that is!!!
He just got caught out too early. Most men planning to leave like to have their next step lined up ready. He was starting the process and is now worried he'll be left alone til his next poor victim comes along.

I'd be willing to bet that if you give it a try he'll be gone with someone else within the next year

InTheCup · 09/08/2022 21:03

He doesn't love you?

Divorce.

Oopsiedaisyy · 09/08/2022 21:05

Your marriage is over, he's already left it emotionally.

oobeedoobee · 10/08/2022 06:57

What would I 'do' when my husband tells me he no longer loves me ?

Bloody divorce, that's what I'd do !

Why on earth would you want to stay in a relationship with anyone who doesn't love you ? Habit ? Scared of unknown ?

And how could you ever trust him again ? Like ever ? He's already admitted he doesn't love you, but you'd be handy to keep around to cook and clean house until he manages to 'snag' someone 'better' ? Nah, fuck that shit.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread