When you are online dating... how long before you swap numbers?

[WellEdinburghIsMightyFine]

I used to have a rule that I don't give my phone number out before a successful first date, but I accidentally phoned someone who gave me theirs years ago so said okay might as well communicate via Watsapp. It turned out fine, it was actually a lot easier than using a dating app that crashes etc and fuck it - I can always block him it's not like giving out bank details or an address is it?

So I'm on Match and I'm getting a lot of messages. Some have been sleazy as fuck some have been fine. One guy gently suggested watsapp but as we've been messaging for a week, we are arranging a date and he seems respectful I didn't mind. All fine so far.

Another one literally straightaway said "Hi nice profile here's my number 079..." Fuck that. Too much.

Now another seemingly normal guy has asked if I want his number because he's leaving the app soon. But I'm not sure?

I also make it clear I am NOT interested in phone calls with someone I haven't met yet. A watsapp message is fine for convenience but I'm not investing a load of time to a stranger I might not even like. Save the conversation for an actual table, plus I hate talking on the phone anyway. Ex phoned me several times before meeting, wound me the fuck up!

?

I would give it out before meeting as I would want to face time before meeting to make sure they are who they say!

I usually have a week or so of chatting and maybe one video call via the app (personally like a video call before meeting for the first time but know that’s not for everyone) before swapping numbers and only really do that if I have the intention of meeting. If someone is fussy about using the call/video call function on sites I would question why, as that’s the safest option.

I hate phones too. When OLD I would only give out my number to someone I’ve had a reasonable chat with - not just a “hi, nice profile, let’s WhatsApp” as those are more likely to be either a) cheating (don’t want to be on the app for longer than necessary in case they’re caught or b) want to send you a dick pic or say something sleazy without getting kicked off the dating site.

I’ve recently come off the sites as I don’t think I’m ready. But last time I was on it I chatted to one guy by phone a couple of times, seemed to get on well and said we’d meet up then he disappeared. Arranged to meet another by text and have met up twice now. But he keeps texting me for a chat and now I’m kind of stuck because I don’t want to block him (actually a nice guy, just don’t fancy him!)

If I go back on it I think I’ll try and meet up with people quickly and rule them in or out, will take a number for convenience of meeting up, then delete/block if they’re a no!

I give my number out probably after a few days of chatting to someone. I like a phone call or video call first to see if the spark is there before meeting.

I'll usually give my number out once I feel we've had some sort of meaningful conversation over the app. If it's someone I want to keep talking to I just find it easier to chat over whatsapp.

If a match asks for my number pretty much immediately I see it as a red flag and avoid.

If a guy wanted my number because he's "leaving the app soon" I'd also see that as a red flag. I have the impression that guys who are eager to leave the app once they've matched with someone are married/in a relationship and don't want their profile to be found.