Name change for this but I’ve been here a long time.
DH married for 14 years. Two DC, both with leaning/some health difficulties. Run our own business blah blah.
I love him so much. I’m as in love with him as I was the day we married. I’ve got many faults and he’s been a rock, especially through pregnancy and illness.
I gave up my career so he could focus on setting up the business. I earned more and he was just stating up. It worked while DC were young and eventually I joined him and we grew the business. He works away a lot and I do most of the child care and work 3 days a week.
The biggest issue we have is drinking. It’s been an issue for years and we’ve come to breaking point a few times. He doesn’t know when to stop. He’s a big drinker. It’s like he didn’t stop being 22 but now he’s 44 and it’s just not attractive. He never gets a hangover and it doesn’t affect him doing anything the next day, bar driving.
Most of the time he’s just tipsey and can’t hold a conversation so he goes to bed. But that get so dull. Other times he’s arrogant and rude. I try not to argue with him as there’s no point until the morning when he’s sober.
The DC are older now and more aware of things and it’s breaking my heart. We’ve just come back on holiday and we’re only intimate once as he drank and smoked the rest of the time. I asked if he could lay off it one day and he promised. We got to the beach and he started drinking again.
We stayed with friends last year and he drank so much he wet their bed. I was so upset. I left that morning and he promised more big changes. Went to the Dr, who told him to just cut down! He does it for a few weeks and then the old habits come back.
Lately he’s been more mean. Saying hurtful things. Tonight he told me he was away for four days next week without a thought for childcare and me working over the summer holidays. He was so unreasonable about it. I’ve left him in the spare room after he told me to get a grip. I’m just so tired of this. We have so much going on, we need to work together and we used to but when there’s drink, everything goes out the window.
I’ve requested we meet with a counsellor but I just can’t do this constant rollercoaster. I want him to stop drinking altogether, and I’d be more than happy to do so. I hate it so much now. It bring nothing be sadness. I know in the morning he’ll be full of remorse but he told me in front of the DC that he isn’t coming away with us this weekend now and they are upset. It’s just out of hand. His parents, especially his Dad have awful relationships with alcohol so it’s just normal for him.
I’m not sure what to do next. I won’t sleep tonight as it’ll be playing on my mind. I’m so sad that another evening has ended like this.