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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Best friend drifting away

1 reply

FinallyPregnant2022 · 27/07/2022 22:17

Hi,
Not strictly a relationship problem but I feel like my best friend is drifting away.
She has been with her other half for the best part of 10 years, they own a home together and have 2 children.
I have never been keen on the OH, nothing 'bad' but older than us, 'too quirky', I have nothing in common with him and over the years there are instances where he's been mildly pushy and controlling.

For the sake of maintaining my relationship with my best friend I have successfully put the OH's flaws to one side, accepted how he is and just got on with it. Covid came and went and in reality I've not seen him much over the past two years.

Recently however I have been out with best friend and OH on two occasions. Both times they have both appeared quiet and withdrawn, to the point that other people have commented that they are oddly quiet or passed comment that OH 'is a bit weird'.

This has unsettled me disproportionately:

  1. The reminder that my BF is paired up with a weirdo who is generally not liked by other people. She is oblivious to this, I feel guilty as I have never discussed this with her.
  2. The situation makes me sad, I can't help thinking that they are in a relationship that holds them both back and they don't realise this.

Sorry overthinking!

OP posts:
ShippingNews · 27/07/2022 22:26

Why do you think they are being held back ? Your only evidence seems to be that they are quiet, and that other people think he is weird. So you are basing your judgement of them on some vague " other people's opinions" .

Personally, if I was your friend, I'd want to drift away from you too. Nobody needs judgy friends and that's what you are being.

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